shit-talking up all night

Lately this blog must give the impression that my life is completely devoid of anything even remotely interesting or fun. If it was otherwise, I'd be writing about all the cool things I do, right? RIGHT?! Y'all, I promise I do cool things. Maybe not all the time and okay, yea, I STILL LIVE WITH MY PARENTS which is the opposite of awesome but hey, just last week I saw a quality community theatre production of Bat Boy: The Musical and if that's not cool, I just don't know what is.

Things have just been busy and I've been all sneezy and do you know how bothersome it is to write when every six seconds you're recuperating from the Mother of All Sneezes?

Answer: extremely.

And while that's really just a ridiculous excuse, the truth of the matter is that I've been so consumed with subbing and looking for a Real Teaching Job and freaking out about looking for a Real Teaching Job that all the fun, cool things I do (and want to write about) fall by the wayside (much to my own personal disappointment). On top of it all, I had (have?) become a bit overwhelmed by this whole blogging universe. As much as I once enjoyed reading posts every day, it started to feel more like a chore and GOD FORBID IF I FELL BEHIND BY A DAY because I just felt like I was drowning in words and holy shit I'm such a failure if I don't catch up, like, yesterday.

Can you tell I suffer from anxiety? More specifically, anxiety over meaningless things which in turn turns them into personal failures that I'll never recover from?

I repeat: anxiety.

Let's not pull at that thread.

Mitch and I were driving back from a quick jaunt over to Nacogdoches a couple Friday afternoons ago, talking & bopping along to the radio when a song came on that we both stopped and really listened to. The words felt so applicable to both of us and the place we're in in our lives, a place of complete uncertainty with a side of Fear of the Unknown. Something about the lyrics gave me peace because they mean that other people in the world have navigated these same waters and you know what, I bet they made it out just fine. So we will too. And even though we're facing huge obstacles (the education job market, bills that have to get paid, skyrocketing gas prices, and very little money in our pockets to boot), it's okay because this is what our twenties are for: figuring this shit out one day at a time, occasionally with the help of a cheap bottle of wine.

But until we get back to our regularly scheduled programming, please enjoy this picture Mitch and I's matching watches we bought on completely different days at completely different Wal-Marts (cha-ching!) and completely by accident.

Yea, it's love.

she's all laid up in bed with a broken heart
while i'm drinking Jack while alone in my local bar
and we don't know how, how we got into this mad situation
only doing things out of frustration
trying to make it work but, man, these times are hard

she needs me now but i can't seem to find the time
i got a new job now on the unemployment line
and we don't know how, how we got into this mess
is it God's test?
someone helps us 'cause we're doing our best
we're trying to make it work but, man, these times are hard

but we're going to start by drinking on cheap bottles of wine
shit-talking up all night, saying things we've haven't for awhile
we're smiling, but we're close to tears
even after all these years we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

she's in line at the DOLE with her head held high
while i just lost my job but didn't lose my pride
but we both know how, how we're gonna make it work when it hurts
when you pick yourself up, you get kicked in the dirt
trying to make it work but, man, these times are hard

oh, these times are hard
yea, they're making us crazy
don't give up on me, baby