i can't win

tell me, what did i do to make you hate me so much?
why're you angry all the time?
why do you wanna run from me?
we used to make love
when you called, i would follow
now the only thing you love is a bottle
the only thing you've got left is a shadow

don't let this shit come between us

i'm wrong, you're right

it's okay with my heart

but it's not how it's supposed to be

you always say, "i'm done, we're finished"

fuck it: i'm wrong, you're right

please, God, help us

i guess i'm gonna leave it up to you tonight

[he] ain't bluffin'
[he's] gonna do it
i think it's time for me to face to the music
i could really give a damn about my pride
but the way you're acting is stupid
you're going back and forth with the lies, never compromise
if you love me better, prove it
i can't win
i can't win for losing

it don't even matter if you scream and yell
you don't love me
you don't love yourself
but it don't matter if you're raising hell: i miss you
i wanna kiss you
i can't remember who you are
remember when your heart used to say, "love me, baby"?
love me, baby

i'm not trying to waste our love

i'm just trying to save what's left of it

one day

one day, my love

you're gonna realize that you fucked up

and when that day comes, my love

i'm gonna be the same one, still loving [you]

how're you gonna cancel me out?

can't stop, won't stop: february

My current playlist I'm crushing on so hard that I can't stop/won't stop listening to it on repeat? I thought you'd never ask:

• Look At Me Now by Chris Brown feat. Lil' Wayne and Busta Rhymes
• By Your Side by Sade
• Bad Bitch by Webbie (it jams pretty hard, whatev)
• Stay Here Forever by Jewel
• Glee's cover of both Bills, Bills, Bills and When I Get You Alone (SWOOOOOOOON)

Happy Wednesday, y'all. :)

can't stop, won't stop: january

Presenting the first can't stop/won't stop of 2011, y'all: songs I can't and won't stop listening to on repeat as of late. Holla!

• Yeah 3x by Chris Brown (Oh, Chris Brown, my love for you is eternal)
• Dog Days are Over by Florence + the Machine
• Rocketeer by Far East Movement
• 3x5 by John Mayer
• Enchanted by Taylor Swift

...

there i was again tonight
forcing laughter, faking smiles
same ol' tired lonely place

walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and
vacancy vanished when i saw your face
all i can say is it was enchanting to meet you

I remember the first time I ever saw Mitch. It was at a party in Nacogdoches; I was visiting an old friend for the weekend, sitting around someone's coffee table when he walked in. He was wearing a long-sleeved, oatmeal-colored shirt and faded jeans that were ripped up at the knees. I remember staring at him and his mesmerizing smile before immediately texting my friend across the room, Who is that guy? What can I say? I just had to know.

December 2008, the first night we met. YIKES.
And yes, it was a bit scandalous on my part since my boyfriend at the time was also at this party. Don't worry - nothing happened that night (or any night for that matter while I was still with said boyfriend, I swear), but that didn't stop me from being curious about the sweet boy at Jordan's party, the boy who made me laugh and asked me to play beer pong with him (against my aforementioned boyfriend...oops?).

your eyes whispered, have we met?
across the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me
the playful conversation starts,
counter all your quick remarkslike passing notes in secrecy
and it was enchanting to meet you
all i can say is i was enchanted to meet you
I realize the beginning sounds a bit sketch, and maybe it is, but every time Mitch walks into the room, I'm enchanted just as I was two years ago when he walked through that apartment door and unsuspectingly into my life. I love that we had no idea what would become of us when he innocently asked for my number. I love that there were too many times I blew him off, pushed him out of my mind as some silly boy with some silly crush on me, and all the while this was the future God had in store.

I love our story, totally & absolutely.

this night is [flawless]
don't you let it go
i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
i'll spend forever wondering if you knew i was enchanted to meet you

...

can't stop, won't stop: september [2]

I'm crushing on this playlist so hard, and I can't stop/won't stop playing it on repeat:

• I Love U by Chris Brown
  Mary by Patty Griffin
  Djohariah by Sufjan Stevens
  Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
  Maroon 5's entire Hands All Over CD (Stutter, in particular)
  
  

photo credit

This time I really need to do things right
Shivers that you give me keep me freezing all night
You make me shut up

I can't believe it
I'm not myself
Certainly I'm thinkin' about no one else
You make me shut up

I really, I really
I really need to know
Or else you gotta let me go

You're just a fantasy, girl
It's an impossible world
All I want is to be with you always
I'll give you everything
Pay some attention to me
All I want is just you and me always

Give me affection
I need your protection
'Cause it feels so good you make me st-stutter, stutter

If I could touch you, I'd never let you go
Now you got me screaming
And I cannot shut up

Now I'm laying on a bedroom floor
Barely even speaking and I cannot get up

And I really, I really
I really need to know
Or else you gotta let me go, oh

You knock me down, I can't get up
I'm stuck
Gotta stop shaking me up
I can't eat
Can't sleep
Can't think sane
You've got me under, sinking under