but to my surprise, no reason why...

photo credit

have i ever told you before

i think you're beautiful when you're sleeping?

i have faith you watch me in my slumber, too

if i'm all that you're looking for

tell me, why is there a river streaming

down your face?

sometimes it makes me wonder all about

your love

(love love love)

after some time, it's something i've found true:

love's not a grave

it won't decay on you

too many days, i was afraid of love love love

(love love)

what if nothing is just that

and the only thing we're good at's dreaming

oh, yea, we're dreamers

picture that: a whole world in slumber

but don't get too attached to the living

even every single memory's fleeting

that's a fact

but to my surprise, no reason why,

one day i woke up and realized...

(love love love love)

after some time, it's something i find true:

love's not a grave

it won't decay on you

too many days, i was afraid of your love

(love love love love)

give it to me, love

i'll keep you in my focus with love & affection

sparks

But I promise you this: I'll always look out for you

That's what I'll do

I'll say, "oh"

I'll say, "oh"

My heart is yours

It's you that I hold on to

That's what I do

And I know I've been wrong, but I won't let you down

...

During the very long (seven and a half hours, to be precise) drive home from Rockport yesterday, I listened to a lot of Pandora radio via my iPhone. Coldplay's Sparks came on twice. It always reminds me of Wedding Crashers when Rachel McAdams tip-toes down the hall to Owen Wilson's room and waits outside his door, but it also reminds me of weddings in general for some reason. Every time to music starts up I can't help but picture a sweet couple, very much in love, swaying romantically back and forth.

an accidental thank-you

My big brother got married on Saturday.

How weird is that? Actually, it's weird that it's not weird. Benton and I are not close in any way, shape or form, but I really did enjoy his wedding (seriously, though, who doesn't enjoy a party with free booze?). He and Amy looked nauseatingly happy and, personally, that kind of overzealous affection makes me vomit. I mean, if I was getting married, I totally wouldn't want my groom blowing kisses at me during the entire ceremony. That's. Too. Much. But hey, that's what they're into, so I suppose it's good they found each other.

It'll come as no surprise then that I've got love on the brain. Weddings'll do that to you.

As I rode back to Dallas with my parents yesterday afternoon, I listened (via iPod) to Keith Urban's newest CD, Defying Gravity. I'm not a huge country music fan, but I liked it. Anyway, the song Standing Right in Front of You really piqued my interest and made me smile. Now, of course I have no actual way of knowing, but it made me think of some of the things Mitch must have been thinking the entire year we casually dated, a term that's always made me laugh.

Out on the street corner, just like every morning,

I sit here and watch you walk my way

And even though I don't know you,

As you get closer,

I swear, I feel my heart start racing, aching

Maybe it's in my mind

And maybe I'm only dreaming

But I swear, you catch my eye as you walk by

Oh, why you gotta leave me so blue?

Baby, why can't you see that I'm the only one for you?

You can search the world over, but

You'll never find another so true

'Cause if you're looking for love, I'm standing right in front of you

I bet your heart, like mine, has been broken

By someone you should have never given it to

So, we put up a wall to keep from falling so hard [again]

It's so sad

'Cause there's such good love inside

And I've been hoping that I might find

Someone who feels the same way

Someone to share my life

On this beautiful ride, together we can see it through

Baby, why can't you see that I'm the only one for you?

You can search the world over, but

You'll never find another so true

And if you're looking for love,

I'm standing right in front of you

Open your heart, girl

Let me make your dreams come true

You could search the world over,

But I can take you to the moon

'Cause if you're looking for love, I'm standing right in front of you

[open your eyes]

...

They met at a party. She was completely unavailable, but he was caught up in her eyebrow ring and smile. They became friends. And then they weren't because life gets in the way. And then they were again. They accidentally spent Easter together. She wrote it off as something silly. He didn't. They went to concerts and on roadtrips, drank beers during the daytime, raised her puppy, took long naps, met each other's parents, watched fireworks, and played in the lake all summer. He brought her back to life. Sometimes they were frustrated by not being in the same place; when he was ready, she wasn't. And when she finally was, he suddenly wasn't. But they never fought, which in and of itself was what she loved the most. He came to her graduation. She moved farther away. They went to hockey games and pint night at the Flying Saucer. They went to more weddings than funerals. He gave her a card for no reason but to tell her she was beautiful.

And somewhere along the way they fell in love. Absolutely.

...

Mitchell, this has not been the easiest year and some odd months. In particular the last couple weeks have been trying, and you have, through it all, been steadfast. I love that you cry just as much as I do even though I tease you mercilessly for it. I love your beard and your blue eyes and your Finley nose. I love your laugh. I love how excited Clark gets when she sees you. I love the way you dance, in the car and anywhere else. You are the true definition of an optimist. You have the sunniest, happiest personality, and everyone who meets you falls instantly under a spell you don't even realize you're casting.

You remind me that I don't have to do it all alone and that I don't always have to be in control. You work alongside me because you want to, not because you have to. My parents and friends love you possibly even more than I do. I love that sometimes you get so excited for me to visit that you even vacuum. I love you for coaching tennis for six-year olds. I love your friends. I even love your mother. I love your desire to work hard. You are ambitious in your own right, tackling endeavour after endeavour with too much humility to ever brag. I'm proud of you for starting the club team and then your own business. I'm proud of you for paying your way through school. I'm proud of you for keeping your closet clean after you let me organize it. And, Mitch, I'm not sorry it took us a year to settle down. I love our story exactly the way it is. I love the way we've turned out and I love us.

You are all of our good and I am all of our bad, I know, but thank you for loving me all the same.

the end of fear is where we begin

You wait, wanting this world to let you in, and you stand there, a frozen light in dark & empty streets. You smile, hiding behind a God-given face, and I know you're so much more. Everything they ignore is all I need to see.

Let Love In by the Goo Goo Dolls just came on my iPod and, my god, I love this song. I had forgotten it even existed until a few months ago when I stumbled upon it again. I've always liked it, but now it reminds me of a sunny spring day, riding in the passenger seat of my beloved silver SUV, and Mitch & I singing at the top of our lungs as we speed towards Nacogodoches.

You're the only one I ever believed in, the answer that could never be found, the moment you decided to let love in. Now I'm banging on the door of an angel; the end of fear is where we begin, the moment we decided to let love in.

springtime favorites (as of late)

I decided to copycat several of the blogs I read and "feature" some of my favorite things as of late. What else do I have to do on a Thursday evening anyway? Well, besides watch Drop Dead Gorgeous (hilarious).

This fabulous dress from Peacock Plume (such a cute little store!)

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Peach margaritas from Baja here in Grapevine (so yummy)

This adorable necklace from Creations by Juliann's Etsy shop

Big Fish because it's one of my all-time favorite movies and for some reason I still don't own it... Weird. I plan on remedying that ASAP.

Burt's Bees Soap Bark & Chamomile Deep Cleansing Cream.

Best. Thing. Ever.

My parents have been telling me since graduation that they were getting me an iPhone... It's now May and still no iPhone... All the same, aren't these covers adorable? The blue one is from downstairsDesign, the flowered one is from rntn, and the green one is from Pomella (all shops are on Etsy).

Annnd this dude. :)

Okay, that's it. Ha. Happy Thursday night! Yay for tomorrow being Friday!

now let's pretend like it was all-good

Oh, Monday, I always wish you were Friday.

This weekend was absolutely lovely, though, and I was finally able to visit my friends in Austin! We didn't do a ton, but it was wonderful and relaxing. When Jordan and I got into town on Friday night we met up with Caroline for dinner at a place I can't remember the name of...but it had a great patio and the weather was nice. :) We spent most of the day Saturday laying by the pool, talking and getting progressively more sunburned. Kristin was able to meet up with with us that night for dinner at El Arroyo and then a little fun on West 6th Street. Annnnd I was super excited to see Kelley for even a little bit on Sunday; she and Mike joined Jordan, Caroline and I for brunch at the Iron Cactus on 6th, which by the way was super yummy. I wish I had remembered to take more pictures, but I was distracted. It felt so good to just be with my people again.

Briarwood lives on. SFP.

...

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky
Are like shooting stars?

I could really use a wish right now

Wish right now

Wish right now

...

In other news, I received my test scores for the EC-6 generalist exam I (unexpectedly) had to take last week and I passed! Oh, and please listen to Airplanes Pt. 2 by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams (of Paramore) and Eminem. It's fantastic and I've been listening to it all weekend/morning.

can anybody find their home?

I've been listening to Sunshine by Keane a lot today. The melody is so soothing and the lyrics, while a little strange, draw me in for some inexplicable reason. Anyway, I'm loving it.

I cannot believe how quickly this past weekend went by. I feel like I blinked and it was over. On Friday night I diligently spent the evening prepping for Saturday's district job fairs. Of course that's no one's favorite Friday night, but mehhh.

Saturday morning I went to Cedar Hill ISD's job fair and was surprised by how much I liked it out there. It's kind of far from where I am now (about 45 minutes), but I don't really mind. Everyone was split up between elementary and secondary; that always confuses me only because with 4-8 certification, I'm eligible for both. Anyway, normally in that situation I just stop by the elementary side first, do my "interview" and then head over to the secondary side and repeat. However, at Cedar Hill we were only allowed one interview so we had to just pick a side. I impulsively chose elementary and was kind of having second thoughts when they finally called me back to meet with someone, but my gosh, I'm really glad I made the choice I did. The woman who "interviewed" me ended up being the Language Arts director for the entire district! After we talked for awhile, she told me I had great energy and that she was definitely going to pass on my resume, etc. to the intermediate school principals (5th and 6th grades). Then she told me to just wait for a phone call. I felt like that was really positive, and I'm cautiously optimistic I'll hear from them.

I had planned on also going to Irving ISD and Richardson ISD's job fairs, but on the way up to Irving my car started acting funny and I ended up having to make a detour to the mechanic. Hundreds of dollars and two missed job fairs later, it's working fine. Ugh.

On Saturday night, Mitch picked me up for an extremely belated birthday date. We had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, which was incredible of course, but when we were leaving we saw that it was pouring down rain. And duh, we didn't have an umbrella. We were both totally and completely soaked when we finally made it to the car. So much for looking nice, haha. From dinner we drove into Grand Prairie for the Owl City concert. Seeing as how we're both older than fourteen, we definitely stuck out so we decided to immediately buy drinks in order to flaunt our awesome older-ness. Suck it, pre-teens. We've got beer. Anyway, the concert was wonderful but the drive home felt like it took forever and we were both so tired.

Yesterday after church we saw Death at a Funeral; hilarious. Go see it immediately. If it's even possible, I'm more in love with James Marsden than I was before seeing the movie.

Monday obviously means it's back to the corporate grind. I'm trying so hard every day to be patient with, optimistic about and grateful for the place I'm in. At the same time, though, living at home makes me feel like a rebellious teenager, I'm growing increasingly stressed and nervous about finding a teaching job for the fall, and I miss my friends. This coming weekend I'm going to Austin for a small Briarwood reunion; I can't believe it's been four months since I last saw my friends. How ridiculous is that? Goddamn. I can't wait to enjoy every minute with them!

Oh, and one final thought: I also cannot wait for December when Mitch moves back to Dallas. Sure, Forney's nearly an hour away...but it's better than the three and a half we're at right now! Mitchell, get me a job in Cedar Hill and then do your student teaching in Cedar Hilllllll. M'kay great. :)

train

the way you can cut a rug,

watching you is the only drug i need :)

I'm really enjoying having someone to talk about my day with. Doesn't it just feel nice after work to call someone? I work with people all day, yes, but something about collections calls and business meetings lacks the spark of real human connection.

PS: I've decided I'd really love to be Scarlett Johanson's character Annie from the Nanny Diaries, only without the shitty nanny job. Her clothes are kickass and she's probably the most adorable creatures I've ever seen. Arghhhh. New life goal? Become Scarlett Johansson. Period.

PPS: I think I'll really enjoy having someone to come home to someday.

wednesday

barefooted beauty with eyes that blue

sunshine sure looks good on you, i swear

oh, i can't believe i finally found you, baby

happily ever after after all this time

oh, there's gonna be some ups & downs

but with you to wrap my arms around, i'm fine

so, baby, hold on tight

don't let go

hold on to the love we're making

'cause, baby, when the ground starts shaking

you've gotta know when you've got a good thing

we've got a good thing

looove this picture of us (summer 2009)

...

In other news, our CFO just completely knocked over a file cabinet in the cubicle next to mine. Hilarious.

love love love (love love) - as tall as lions

after some time it's something i find true:

love's not a grave
it won't decay on you
too many days i was afraid of love
love love love love love...

paper hearts

This was ridiculously fun for reasons I don't completely understand. Also, it made me silly happy and I couldn't wait to post pictures.





I'm a nerd. :)