i've got the eye of the tiger, the fighter
dancing through the fire 'cause i am a champion
...
and you're gonna hear me roar
...
...
louder, louder than a lion
'cause i am a champion
and you're gonna hear me roar
Showing posts with label things that make me feel like a rockstar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label things that make me feel like a rockstar. Show all posts
Monday, August 12, 2013
i am a champion
i've got the eye of the tiger, the fighter
dancing through the fire 'cause i am a champion
louder, louder than a lion
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
definitely better than third grade, y'know, with all the politics and the mind games
Things I’ve Learned While Substitute Teaching: second graders are YOUNG.
Like, really really young, y’all. Did you know most of them are only seven? SEVEN YEARS OLD. Holy crap. They’re still babies. I don’t know why, but this absolutely blows my mind.
I think it’s pretty obvious that I recently subbed for a second grade class. Today, actually. And you know what? Seven-year olds are also LOUD. And crazy. And really into invading your personal space. All day long they’d come up to me and stroke my arms while talking to me, lean against me, sit on the ground and try to rest their heads in my lap, hold my hand in the hallways, walk with their arms around my waist, etc. I couldn’t stop thinking about how awkward it would be if adults were like that, especially if adults were like that with people they’d only know for about an hour.
Maybe I’ll try it out.
It was adorable, though. Today was honestly all about playing mommy as opposed to teacher. There were tantrums, tears, tattling, and one girl even punched another in the stomach. Dra-ma. And it was my job to step in talk them out of their tantrums, tell them to mind their own business, and wipe away any and all tears. As far as the girl who punched another, well, she and I had a lengthy talk which ended with her sobbing and rocking back & forth in my lap. Like I said, I was on mommy-duty. Challenging, exhausting…but nice.
After school, I came home with nineteen pictures and signs that the kids made for me. Most of them talk about how much I rock (it’s true, I do), but I particularly liked the one depicting a helicopter launching missiles. He even took the time to color the helicopter to look like it was camouflaged. Stellar work, kid.
Oh, wait, I also liked the one where a girl wrote, “i love miss tea.”
Tea. T. Ha.
The one on top really captures my essence. But no, I wasn't wearing pigtails today.
Throughout this whole job application process (wherein I apply to about a thousand school districts and pray to God someone, somewhere decides to take a chance on me), I’ve wondered what grade is right for me. High school is obviously out since most of those kids are total bastards. Plus, walking into a high school makes me feel as weird and anxious as it did when I was sixteen and, no thanks, I don’t want to relive that hell everyday.
Sidenote: I was so beyond uptight and awkward in high school, y’all. Like…terribly. It’s almost painful for me to look back at the person I was at seventeen, even though my mother says I need to cut myself some slack. Oh, I also didn’t grow out of my ugly, I-don’t-know-how-to-put-on-make-up-or-do-my-hair-without-looking-like-either-a-tranny-or-a-hot-mess phase until I was twenty-one…and by twenty-one I, of course, mean twenty-four which in turn means I’m actually still growing out of it. Neat-o.
End sidenote.
Anyway, the point is I wasn’t sure what age group would be my best fit as a teacher. It’s hard to know something like that with no classroom experience. I still really feel like my heart lies in the 5th and 6th grades (ie. old enough to have personalities and get most of my jokes, but young enough to still be sweet and think I’m cool), but after today, I don’t think I’d mind rocking it in the lower elementary. Maybe.
Who knows.
PS: Today I also learned that I have no idea what second graders are supposed to know by this age. Like, are they supposed to understand subtraction? Because it took a kid roughly ninety seconds to answer me when I asked him what ten minus one was. Not kidding. Also, spelling? Do they know how to do it? I saw a girl write the sentence, “i cant wate to go to mitold skoole.” PAINFUL. Or normal?
Like, really really young, y’all. Did you know most of them are only seven? SEVEN YEARS OLD. Holy crap. They’re still babies. I don’t know why, but this absolutely blows my mind.
I think it’s pretty obvious that I recently subbed for a second grade class. Today, actually. And you know what? Seven-year olds are also LOUD. And crazy. And really into invading your personal space. All day long they’d come up to me and stroke my arms while talking to me, lean against me, sit on the ground and try to rest their heads in my lap, hold my hand in the hallways, walk with their arms around my waist, etc. I couldn’t stop thinking about how awkward it would be if adults were like that, especially if adults were like that with people they’d only know for about an hour.
Maybe I’ll try it out.
It was adorable, though. Today was honestly all about playing mommy as opposed to teacher. There were tantrums, tears, tattling, and one girl even punched another in the stomach. Dra-ma. And it was my job to step in talk them out of their tantrums, tell them to mind their own business, and wipe away any and all tears. As far as the girl who punched another, well, she and I had a lengthy talk which ended with her sobbing and rocking back & forth in my lap. Like I said, I was on mommy-duty. Challenging, exhausting…but nice.
After school, I came home with nineteen pictures and signs that the kids made for me. Most of them talk about how much I rock (it’s true, I do), but I particularly liked the one depicting a helicopter launching missiles. He even took the time to color the helicopter to look like it was camouflaged. Stellar work, kid.
Oh, wait, I also liked the one where a girl wrote, “i love miss tea.”
Tea. T. Ha.
Throughout this whole job application process (wherein I apply to about a thousand school districts and pray to God someone, somewhere decides to take a chance on me), I’ve wondered what grade is right for me. High school is obviously out since most of those kids are total bastards. Plus, walking into a high school makes me feel as weird and anxious as it did when I was sixteen and, no thanks, I don’t want to relive that hell everyday.
Sidenote: I was so beyond uptight and awkward in high school, y’all. Like…terribly. It’s almost painful for me to look back at the person I was at seventeen, even though my mother says I need to cut myself some slack. Oh, I also didn’t grow out of my ugly, I-don’t-know-how-to-put-on-make-up-or-do-my-hair-without-looking-like-either-a-tranny-or-a-hot-mess phase until I was twenty-one…and by twenty-one I, of course, mean twenty-four which in turn means I’m actually still growing out of it. Neat-o.
End sidenote.
Anyway, the point is I wasn’t sure what age group would be my best fit as a teacher. It’s hard to know something like that with no classroom experience. I still really feel like my heart lies in the 5th and 6th grades (ie. old enough to have personalities and get most of my jokes, but young enough to still be sweet and think I’m cool), but after today, I don’t think I’d mind rocking it in the lower elementary. Maybe.
Who knows.
PS: Today I also learned that I have no idea what second graders are supposed to know by this age. Like, are they supposed to understand subtraction? Because it took a kid roughly ninety seconds to answer me when I asked him what ten minus one was. Not kidding. Also, spelling? Do they know how to do it? I saw a girl write the sentence, “i cant wate to go to mitold skoole.” PAINFUL. Or normal?
Sunday, March 6, 2011
the ghost of spring breaks past
(alternative title: why i'll never be hired by anyone, ever)
Today I made a special trip over to my storage room (where all my belongings sadly remain since I’m totally super cool and live in my parents’ guestroom) to dig through a million boxes of crap, looking for koozies.
Yup, koozies.
And do you want to know why? Because it’s almost spring break, mfers!
Now, okay, maybe I’m a little too old for spring break, seeing as how I spent last year’s staring at this (while Mitch was off skiing in Breckenridge…yea, poured some salt into THAT wound, didn’t you, lover?):
NO.
That’s right. This time last year I was working in a soul-sucking job as an accounts receivable coordinator, something I’ve mentioned probably too many times, but whatever. Anyway, it was tough working for the man while all my college friends were off having the time of their lives since it wasn’t that long ago that I, too, was having the time of my life, PCB-style.
In March of 2008 and 2009, I road tripped down to Florida with fifteen friends and spent the week renting a house in Panama City Beach. A house with two tiny bathrooms. Shared by a bazillion people. It was, in a word, classic. You know all those spring break trips you see depicted in college movies? Yeaaaa.
When we went my junior year, in 2008, I had just turned 21 in the weeks prior so, needless to say, I was pretty excited to just be able to drink legally. Add on a trip to the beach with my friends and I was absolutely in heaven.
SBPCB08 jams: Sexy Can I by Ray J
I Run This by Birdman feat. Lil’ Wayne
It was a little on the wild side, I’ll admit, but truth be told, I don’t think it can even compare to the ridiculousness of SBPCB09.
Seriously.
There was booze, theft, regretful yet hilarious ice outs, dancing, and a variety of competitions, rewards and penalties. There were underground beer bongs, on-a-canoe beer bongs, duct-taped-and-hog-tied beer bongs, Lindsey’s-underwear beer bongs, running beer bongs, peeing-in-the-ocean beer bongs, and god, so many more. I spent most of my time drunk dialing my fellow Fish Camp counselors (note: more on Fish Camp at a later date) and leaving them messages like, CLINT, IF YOU DON’T ANSWER THIS PHONE RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL CHOKE YOU, etc.
SBPCB09 jams: Kiss Me Thru the Phone by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em
I'm on a Boat by The Lonely Island
pictured: bliss
pictured: utilizing a rape whistle while in a crowded outdoor bar
pictured: BFFL high-pour
pictured: dudes' top-ass picture. an absolute must.
pictured: dudettes' top-ass picture. not embarrassing.
To put it this way, last year I jokingly applied to be a castmate on Jersey Shore season 3 (duh, why wouldn’t everyone?) and when asked to describe my perfect summer weekend, I described instead a single day at Panama City Beach in 2009. Oh, and submitted a picture of myself doing a beer bong while wearing a bikini. And definitely got a call-back ("Girrrrrrl, can’t wait for your audition tape! LOVE your booty!"). So, crazy enough to interest the producers over at the Jerz? HEY-OH!
Maybe I shouldn’t post things like this since I’m in the process of trying to become gainfully employed?
Whatev.
Slash Mama, Dad, extended family…I apologize if you read all of this. I really am the nice, semi-normal girl you thought you knew.
I will say, however, that I have grown up a lot since 2008 and 2009. I don’t ice out with strangers or binge drink (on week nights, at least). And this year I have the exciting privilege of spending a weekend out at Harrison’s lakehouse with some very fun, adult-type friends, instead of spending the entirety of Spring Break 2011 working like a sucker. But the number one item at the top of my packing list (yes, I make packing lists, shut up)?
Koozies.
Yup, koozies.
And do you want to know why? Because it’s almost spring break, mfers!
Now, okay, maybe I’m a little too old for spring break, seeing as how I spent last year’s staring at this (while Mitch was off skiing in Breckenridge…yea, poured some salt into THAT wound, didn’t you, lover?):
That’s right. This time last year I was working in a soul-sucking job as an accounts receivable coordinator, something I’ve mentioned probably too many times, but whatever. Anyway, it was tough working for the man while all my college friends were off having the time of their lives since it wasn’t that long ago that I, too, was having the time of my life, PCB-style.
In March of 2008 and 2009, I road tripped down to Florida with fifteen friends and spent the week renting a house in Panama City Beach. A house with two tiny bathrooms. Shared by a bazillion people. It was, in a word, classic. You know all those spring break trips you see depicted in college movies? Yeaaaa.
When we went my junior year, in 2008, I had just turned 21 in the weeks prior so, needless to say, I was pretty excited to just be able to drink legally. Add on a trip to the beach with my friends and I was absolutely in heaven.
SBPCB08 jams: Sexy Can I by Ray J
I Run This by Birdman feat. Lil’ Wayne
It was a little on the wild side, I’ll admit, but truth be told, I don’t think it can even compare to the ridiculousness of SBPCB09.
Seriously.
There was booze, theft, regretful yet hilarious ice outs, dancing, and a variety of competitions, rewards and penalties. There were underground beer bongs, on-a-canoe beer bongs, duct-taped-and-hog-tied beer bongs, Lindsey’s-underwear beer bongs, running beer bongs, peeing-in-the-ocean beer bongs, and god, so many more. I spent most of my time drunk dialing my fellow Fish Camp counselors (note: more on Fish Camp at a later date) and leaving them messages like, CLINT, IF YOU DON’T ANSWER THIS PHONE RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL CHOKE YOU, etc.
SBPCB09 jams: Kiss Me Thru the Phone by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em
I'm on a Boat by The Lonely Island
To put it this way, last year I jokingly applied to be a castmate on Jersey Shore season 3 (duh, why wouldn’t everyone?) and when asked to describe my perfect summer weekend, I described instead a single day at Panama City Beach in 2009. Oh, and submitted a picture of myself doing a beer bong while wearing a bikini. And definitely got a call-back ("Girrrrrrl, can’t wait for your audition tape! LOVE your booty!"). So, crazy enough to interest the producers over at the Jerz? HEY-OH!
Maybe I shouldn’t post things like this since I’m in the process of trying to become gainfully employed?
Whatev.
Slash Mama, Dad, extended family…I apologize if you read all of this. I really am the nice, semi-normal girl you thought you knew.
I will say, however, that I have grown up a lot since 2008 and 2009. I don’t ice out with strangers or binge drink (on week nights, at least). And this year I have the exciting privilege of spending a weekend out at Harrison’s lakehouse with some very fun, adult-type friends, instead of spending the entirety of Spring Break 2011 working like a sucker. But the number one item at the top of my packing list (yes, I make packing lists, shut up)?
Koozies.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
please sign if you love miss townsend
Y'all, seriously, it's been a week since I've blogged and I feel like a perfect stranger in the blogosphere right about now.
The weekend and past several days have been busy (and, okay, a bit...tumultuous?). The high points included me already getting called a bazillion times to substitute teach, Mitch and I going to a Mavs game on Saturday night (which they won!), and having the past two days off work due to Dallas' version of Snowmaggedon. Well, Icemaggedon? Whatev. The point is DFW has all but completely shut down since yesterday morning when the entire metroplex was coated with very slick, very dangerous ice. And remember, we're TEXANS, y'all. We don't know what the shit to do in this weather.
And the low points of the weekend/week?
The weekend and past several days have been busy (and, okay, a bit...tumultuous?). The high points included me already getting called a bazillion times to substitute teach, Mitch and I going to a Mavs game on Saturday night (which they won!), and having the past two days off work due to Dallas' version of Snowmaggedon. Well, Icemaggedon? Whatev. The point is DFW has all but completely shut down since yesterday morning when the entire metroplex was coated with very slick, very dangerous ice. And remember, we're TEXANS, y'all. We don't know what the shit to do in this weather.
And the low points of the weekend/week?
We won't get into those, but I will say I haven't been home all week and instead have been camping out (with my two energetic, very confused dogs) at Mitch's family's house. It's been...cozy. No, seriously, it's been fine and even relaxing to have spent the past several days all together watching Law & Order for hours on end.
Anyway, what I really wanted to tell y'all was that I had my first subbing assignment on Monday! I got the call at 5:30 AM saying a sub was needed at a nearby elementary school to cover sixth grade social studies for the day, was I interested in the job? UMMMMM YES PLEASE.
Anyway, what I really wanted to tell y'all was that I had my first subbing assignment on Monday! I got the call at 5:30 AM saying a sub was needed at a nearby elementary school to cover sixth grade social studies for the day, was I interested in the job? UMMMMM YES PLEASE.
Now, let me backtrack a little bit: I was NERVOUS. And, okay, cranky from being nervous. I'd never subbed before. What if I did it wrong? What if the kids hated me and wouldn't listen and I managed the burn the whole school to the ground? I don't know, whatever. Turns out I was making a way bigger deal out of the whole thing than I needed to because it.was.AWESOME. I wish I could sub every day for the rest of my life. Why? Probably because I don't have to be regular teacher so I get to say things like, Yo, broski, close your mouth, and So...I'm Miss Townsend...and I'll be your sub today...WHAT UP. You know, the usual.
I didn't pay them to write this.
On that note, I think I'm figuring out that I just don't know how to talk to kids. I felt like I said a lot of weird things throughout my day as a sub? But, praise God, the kids seemed to love me, if only because I referred to Lil' Wayne as Weezy, baby and "wasn't 80 years old and ugly" (this apparently has been a "big problem" for the students in the past...what?). I also let each of the four classes pick team names for the day so instead of yelling HEY SIXTH GRADERS to get their attention, I got to yell things like VIPERS! ASSEMBLE! and HEYYYY LITTLE MONSTERS! (yep, Gaga-style)
Coolest sub ever?
Possibly.
After erasing the board at lunch, the second half of the day lead to this. And it's totally okay that it made me fee like a rockstar. Jealous?
The (shallow, ego-boosting) highlight of my day had to be when one of the problem kids in the class came up to me and said I was the prettiest sub they'd ever seen. Thanks, buddy! I also got home that afternoon and had ELEVEN FRIEND REQUESTS on Facebook. I didn't even know elementary school students had Facebooks? Anyway, Mitch told me I'm not allowed to accept them because of the whole teacher-student thing, which makes me sad, but I guess I understand. Meh.
All this to say subbing is great and, so far, one of the most fun things I've ever done. EVER. And while snow days are also great, I've actually been bummed to not have had the chance to work the past two days. Here's to hoping things return to normal tomorrow and I can get back at it. :)
PS: Weirdest comment of the day? One of girls (who was suuuuper strange, by the way, and kept STARING at me and saying, soooooo, do I freak you out?) came up to me, hugged me and said, After school, will you take me to Chili's and buy me a virgin margarita? Wtf?
PPS: My response? No. Why are you weird? Hey, at least I'm honest.
On that note, I think I'm figuring out that I just don't know how to talk to kids. I felt like I said a lot of weird things throughout my day as a sub? But, praise God, the kids seemed to love me, if only because I referred to Lil' Wayne as Weezy, baby and "wasn't 80 years old and ugly" (this apparently has been a "big problem" for the students in the past...what?). I also let each of the four classes pick team names for the day so instead of yelling HEY SIXTH GRADERS to get their attention, I got to yell things like VIPERS! ASSEMBLE! and HEYYYY LITTLE MONSTERS! (yep, Gaga-style)
Coolest sub ever?
Possibly.
The (shallow, ego-boosting) highlight of my day had to be when one of the problem kids in the class came up to me and said I was the prettiest sub they'd ever seen. Thanks, buddy! I also got home that afternoon and had ELEVEN FRIEND REQUESTS on Facebook. I didn't even know elementary school students had Facebooks? Anyway, Mitch told me I'm not allowed to accept them because of the whole teacher-student thing, which makes me sad, but I guess I understand. Meh.
All this to say subbing is great and, so far, one of the most fun things I've ever done. EVER. And while snow days are also great, I've actually been bummed to not have had the chance to work the past two days. Here's to hoping things return to normal tomorrow and I can get back at it. :)
PS: Weirdest comment of the day? One of girls (who was suuuuper strange, by the way, and kept STARING at me and saying, soooooo, do I freak you out?) came up to me, hugged me and said, After school, will you take me to Chili's and buy me a virgin margarita? Wtf?
PPS: My response? No. Why are you weird? Hey, at least I'm honest.
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