This is most likely a result of boredom and my obsession with watching movies that bum me out (although I will admit that Under the Tuscan Sun is certainly more uplifting than The Last Kiss, my usual go-to sure-to-bum-you-the-hell-out movie). Watching Diane Lane find new life in Tuscany has shown me that the cure for depression is going on a gay bus tour of Italy. I'll keep that in mind.
Over the weekend Mitch and I attended his cousin's wedding (beautiful),
spent time at my family reunion (overwhelming), visited Mitch's grandfather in the hospital (sweet), and witnessed my cousin's baby be baptised (exciting).
Needless to say, it was a weekend full of family, both mine and Mitchell's, and I'm still struck by how much I love them all. Now that Monday's nearly upon me, I'm not sure how to proceed with my week. I'm growing more and more discouraged with finding a teaching job for the fall. Every day that goes by, I feel my chances are shrinking and the few jobs that are actually available are being snatched up in every passing second. What will become of me come August? I sure as hell don't know.
What's funny is that although I have no job, no money, and no prospects...I'm so supremely happy in other areas of my life that I am able to have hope for the future. Well, most days. Most days I am able to have hope. And on the days I am unable...well, those are the days I sleep late. Take naps. Watch premium cable. And fluctuate between my desire to be thin and my desire to eat three hundred Brownie Bites. Life's full of tough choices.
Honestly, tomorrow already feels like it has the potential to be one of those hopeless Law-&-Order-SVU-marathon-Brownie-Bites kind of days. But I'm not ready to give up before it already starts.
Here's to a hopeful, productive Monday. :)
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