No, but seriously, I’ve never really been one to make resolutions (probably because I know I don’t stick with anything longer than a couple weeks…hey, at least I’m honest). Of course this is the year I want to be a runner, fifteen pounds thinner and overall a healthier version of myself. However, I have a borderline codependent relationship with Mexican food (it needs me, too), so the chances of a thinner/healthier me? Slim to none.
Acceptance, y’all.
And as far as running goes, I unfortunately associate running with punishment and, therefore, loathe it with every particle of my being. Thanks, junior high (TOWNSEND, TAKE A LAP.).
Nevertheless, in the spirit of embracing new beginnings, I came up with a list of things I need to get better at this year. Presenting:
Things I Need to Get Better at in 2011
1. Hiding my tattoo from my grandmother
Okay, this one is actually null and void now that my mother’s let the cat out of the bag. One of my parents’ conditions to not disowning me for getting a tattoo was to never, under any circumstances, let my grandmother see it. She’s old-fashioned, which is really just a nice way of saying incredibly uptight and judgmental. Sorry, Grandma. Anyway, I have gone to great lengths to always be wearing long sleeves or a bracelet that I have taken the time to TAPE INTO PLACE ON MY WRIST so as to not upset the delicate balance that is my family life, all to have this ruined on Christmas, when my mother loudly announced SHOW HER, ANDREA. SHOW YOUR GRANDMOTHER WHAT YOU’VE DONE. The she laughed at me. She may or may not have also called me white trash (and may or may not have been kidding). Well, you know what, Mom? Jokes on you ‘cause Grandma didn’t even care. SO SUCK ON THAT.
2. Managing my money
This’ll be short and sweet, lest I begin weeping at the thought of my financial state. I’m horrible with money (admittedly, it’s probably by choice…) and therefore end up spending money on things like beer and Whataburger at 2am as opposed to, oh, you know, gas and dog food. There comes a point every month where I literally find myself crying in Walmart because I’m broke and know I can’t buy that bag of Cheetos. Props to Mitch for always listening to the conversations that begin with OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS OVER OH MY GODDD. I’m a real treat.
3. Texting back
When it comes to communication, I’m the kind of person I love to hate on: I suck at answering calls, listening to voicemails and even taking the time to text someone the hell back. I KNOW. It’s awful. I really don’t even know why I do it. What makes it even worse is that nothing bothers me more than when someone doesn’t answer MY call or text. I’m all WHAT THE HELL, DUDE. Hypocrite, I am. So, to all my lovely friends, consider this my formal apology for sucking so bad AND my formal promise to rectify my wretchedness in 2011.
There you have it, y’all. I’m just going to do my damndest to be better this year at a lot of things that kind of matter.
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, my only New Years resolution is to try everything on Taco Bueno’s menu. I decided that today when Mitch and I were at lunch (guess where) and he wasn’t terribly impressed. Weird.
4 comments:
Wow, Mitch *wasn't* impressed with your Taco Bueno resolution? He clearly need to get his priorities in line.
When my grandmother saw my tattoo, she told me I was never allowed to eat off the same plate as her again because now I have AIDS. Because, yes, apparently now tattoo=AIDS, period. Thanks, Grandma.
Girl I am right there with you to become a runner and 15 pounds lighter... and I got that codependent relationship with the Mexican food too... it's just so damn good! :) But we can dooooooo it!
why are you so funny?
i think you look pretty darn good! running is on my list of things to improve on, too :)
Found you on Mingle Monday! LOVE your blog! Im your newest follower :)
XOXO
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