Thursday, February 25, 2010

i'll pay good money to see DJ Richard Gear

This year Houston's Free Press Summerfest is Saturday, June 5 and Sunday, June 6. And hell yes I'll be there.

I can't even remember how I stumbled upon their website last summer. It was probably the result of hours and hours of trolling the internet mindlessly while at work because wow, do you even realize how boring the library is in the summer months? Even more than normal. Yea. Anyway I found out about Summerfest and decided to go because, hey, why the hell not? So Mitch came to College Station, and from there we made the trek to Houston. The park it's held in is literally at the foot of downtown Houston and the view is incredible. Sitting in a beautiful, grassy, sunshine-y park with rolling hills, thousands of people, all kinds of music playing at the same time, local artisan booths everywhere, hippies running around advertising free was ridiculous. And I loved it. I loved sitting on those hills that Saturday night, listening to Explosions in the Sky and letting their music completely wash over me. The lights from downtown were so close you could almost touch them, creating a surreal industrial backdrop in such a natural setting.

This morning I made the mistake of looking up this year's dates as soon as I got to work. Needless to say, even though it's months and months away, I spent the better part of this morning: a. being excited, b. sending out emails and texts to people I thought might want to also go, and c. being really really excited. It feels good to know I'm going back and even better to have something like that to look forward to. I can't wait for June!

In case anyone's interested, here's their

Monday, February 22, 2010


It's not that I was having a rough week, but for whatever reason I seemed to stumble upon this at just the right time:

I love this website. I've been reading it daily for months now and it never fails to bring my attention to the little things in life, the things I normally find so easy to overlook. This post in particular struck me for the obvious reason that I can relate. Finally. I can finally relate.

There have been so many good, wonderful days in the past year. Beautiful times with beautiful friends, roadtrips, celebrations, ring dunks, graduations, and so on... Just so, so many good days. But there have been many dark days, days I couldn't get out of bed, days I didn't know if I ever would. I had fallen into such a deep, uncontrollable depression that in spite of the good days, I wasn't sure I'd ever really come out of the place I was in. It crippled me, and the events leading up to it have changed me, absolutely and forever.

Thanks to the sweet passing of time, I began to heal. Little by little, I began to feel some remnants of my old self resurface, but it was happening so very slowly that I was often discouraged, discouraged enough to relapse, drawing the shades and crawling back into the safety and comfort of my bed.

I say all that in order to reveal the revelation I had yesterday afternoon. I'm not sure if it was the result of sunshine, obtaining closure when I least expected it, or just a great weekend with some very great people, but it hit me like a ton of bricks: I'm going to be okay. I really, really am. Perhaps this seems small, obvious. Perhaps I seem like a moron for spending eleven very hard months without knowing this. It doesn't really matter; all that does is that I'm going to be fine.

I woke up this morning a different person. For the first time in nearly a year, I woke up feeling alive and totally free. Life is difficult and far from perfect, especially right now, but I've never felt more capable than I do today. I was beaten down and let grief rule me, but it's beautiful to realize I'm not beaten and the grief is gone. To finally moving forward and moving on!
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