In hard times – whether emotional, physical, economical or what-have-you – I’ve found that it’s important to celebrate the little victories. Sure, I feel a bit lost. And okay, sure, sometimes I feel sad. Nonetheless, I have joys and successes out the yin-yang that, minor as they may be, deserve appreciation and recognition.
So, to cheer myself up last night, I sat down with a dry-erase board, several multi-colored markers and wrote out a quick list of things I’m grateful for, including but not limited to:
Food
Shelter
My health and abilities
Family
Friends, both near and far
Clark
The love of my life in dog-form? Check.
Pete
I felt obligated to include him on this list, but I think we all know how I actually feel about him.
My car
Well, vehicle I suppose is a more appropriate word since it's an SUV, not a car... Anyway, piece of shit that it is, it gets me from Point A to Point B, right?
Music
Seriously…where would I be without it? I physically need the likes of Relient K, Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Incubus, 3OH!3, Mat Kearney, Chris Brown, Minus the Bear, etc.? They speak to me. They move me. ‘Nough said.
Mitch
Yep. Still. Because of things like this.
Zero credit card debt
This one gets to be in bold because clicking the "pay remaining balance" button is one of the best feelings in the world. HALLELUJAH. Also, fuck you, Discover.
Reese’s peanut butter cups
I’ve moved on from the Chips Ahoy.
God
Duh.
The fact that Eye of the Tiger just came on my iPod.
Score. And FYI it's totes on my Motivational Playlist. I like to jam to the MP while getting psyched for things I'd usually be nervous about (ie. tests, interviews, basic daily interactions).
Books
My taste in literature ranges from the classics to the trashiest of teen novels. Oh, and my favorite book of all time? The Giver by Lois Lowry. I read it when I was eleven and I’ve read it at least once every since then. If you haven’t already, read it.
Having (multiple) jobs
Yes, jobs. Plural. I’m so grateful that I’m able to substitute teach and do school photography. Even though neither of these allow me to work full time or support myself (like, enough to where I can move out? Yea...womp womp...), I really enjoy what I get up for every morning and, hey, it pays the few bills I have. And as of a couple days ago, I’m officially hired as a camp counselor for the summer here in Grapevine. :)
Getting that phone call on Tuesday is really what started the wheels in my head a-turnin’. I’d been stressed about the approaching summer months – what was I going to do about money? Both subbing and photography are seasonal so when school lets out, I was going to be shit outta luck, economically-speaking, June through August. Panic. But no more! No more panicking! I feel really blessed to have gotten hired so early that I now don’t have to worry about if I’ll be able to take care of myself during the summer.
Fist pumps for the little victories, y’all. Sometimes they’re all we (ahem, I) have, but sometimes they’re all we need to get by. Right? Besides, I know I won’t have to "just get by" forever.
To quote Beck: I’m a driver. I’m a winner. Things are gonna change, I can feel it.
Holla.
Showing posts with label there's just so much to be grateful for. Show all posts
Showing posts with label there's just so much to be grateful for. Show all posts
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
twenty-ten, over & out
Two thousand and ten, you were quite the challenge when it came to life post-grad. I turned 23, fell in love, tried my hand at accounting (wtf?), dealt with unemployment, terrible employment, and unemployment once again, spent a lot of money enjoying a summer I didn't expect to have, thankfully attended more weddings than funerals, got a tattoo, watched too much Jersey Shore while drinking too much wine, made new friendships while rekindling the old, became the proud mother of two (count 'em, TWO) dogs and kissed my sanity goodbye.
Thanks for the ups, let's forget the downs, and here's to a fantastic year ahead of us all!
BRING IT ON, 2011.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
cake balls, puppy dogs, and a Peruvian hat (but not in that order)
My love affair with weekends continues, in case anyone is interested.
On Saturday my friend Diana and I went to the most fabulous little salon in Uptown called Dear Clark Hair Studio for haircuts and complimentary makeovers. I love free stuff (sadly, the haircut was not free). Dear Clark somehow manages to be both chic and adorable, plus there's wine. I also love free booze. The girl who cut my hair, Chantel, is fantastic, so fantastic that not only is this the best haircut I've ever had in my life, but she also made me look so pretty (and, trust me, this is not an easy feat). My new Christmas wish is to be able to style my hair the way she did. Fingers crossed. Anyway, it was such a fun afternoon and I left with a spring in my step.
Last night was Kelsey's white elephant party and let me start off by saying I totally got what I deserved, as much as that sucks. Everyone brought such fun gifts (ie. Mitch walked away with a spaceship alarm clock that projects the time AND PICTURES OF PLANETS on the ceiling!) and it was a blast, except for the part where I ended up with my own stupid gift. That's what I get for buying a talking bobble head of Snooki.
I deserved to walk away with this. Best part? Every time her head moves she says, I'm not trashy...unless I drink too much. It's my new motto. Also, this looks nothing like Snooki.
To be fair, Diana is an excellent friend and gave me the gift she ended up with, the most adorable little Woodland Creatures cookie cutters from IKEA.
I can't wait to make moose cookies!
As the night came to a close, Kelsey gave us all these cute little canisters she made filled with delicious cake balls. Have y'all ever had cake balls? I can't even describe them except to say they're like little drops of heaven. Kelsey also gifted me a bottle of wine with a funny little label she made that says He's the Riesling for the season. Get it? Or are we the only ones who thinks that's funny? It's fine.
Kelsey is so adorable, but y'all've already figured that out.
I feel so blessed to have such sweet and wonderful friends. Sometimes I can't understand why God has been good to me, but I'm grateful all the same.
This morning Mitch and I joined my whole family (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.) in attending our church's Christmas play. It was pretty amazing -- there were fireworks that went off inside the auditorium and, at one point, HUGE FLAMES OF FIRE. We felt the heat on our faces all the way in our seats and I'm relatively certain everyone in the first nineteen rows must have walked away sans eyebrows. Later Mitch and I went Christmas shopping for Clark (no, that's not sad; it's AWESOME) because we love her. Note: we frequently joke that we don't want to have kids because we'd really just like to have dogs and vacations, but after spending the afternoon with my cousin's cute (but diva-ish) baby, we may no longer be joking. While we were out, Mitch bought/gave me an early Christmas present: the cutest Peruvian-style winter hat. I'm obsessed. Thanks for being the sweetest boyfriend, Mitchell. :)
I'm gonna rock the shit outta this hat all winter long.
The only thing I can keep saying is how blessed I feel all of a sudden. And it's not that anything has drastically changed, it's just that...I look around me and I feel warm with love for the people in my life. The hat helps, too.
There are a lot of really exciting things that are going to happen this coming week, but for now, they must remain secret. :) All the same, I'll end on a list of things I'm looking forward to (because it's fun to remind myself):
You're a beaut.
Oh, Clark Kent, I love you. And I have excellent posture.
On Saturday my friend Diana and I went to the most fabulous little salon in Uptown called Dear Clark Hair Studio for haircuts and complimentary makeovers. I love free stuff (sadly, the haircut was not free). Dear Clark somehow manages to be both chic and adorable, plus there's wine. I also love free booze. The girl who cut my hair, Chantel, is fantastic, so fantastic that not only is this the best haircut I've ever had in my life, but she also made me look so pretty (and, trust me, this is not an easy feat). My new Christmas wish is to be able to style my hair the way she did. Fingers crossed. Anyway, it was such a fun afternoon and I left with a spring in my step.
Last night was Kelsey's white elephant party and let me start off by saying I totally got what I deserved, as much as that sucks. Everyone brought such fun gifts (ie. Mitch walked away with a spaceship alarm clock that projects the time AND PICTURES OF PLANETS on the ceiling!) and it was a blast, except for the part where I ended up with my own stupid gift. That's what I get for buying a talking bobble head of Snooki.
To be fair, Diana is an excellent friend and gave me the gift she ended up with, the most adorable little Woodland Creatures cookie cutters from IKEA.
As the night came to a close, Kelsey gave us all these cute little canisters she made filled with delicious cake balls. Have y'all ever had cake balls? I can't even describe them except to say they're like little drops of heaven. Kelsey also gifted me a bottle of wine with a funny little label she made that says He's the Riesling for the season. Get it? Or are we the only ones who thinks that's funny? It's fine.
I feel so blessed to have such sweet and wonderful friends. Sometimes I can't understand why God has been good to me, but I'm grateful all the same.
This morning Mitch and I joined my whole family (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.) in attending our church's Christmas play. It was pretty amazing -- there were fireworks that went off inside the auditorium and, at one point, HUGE FLAMES OF FIRE. We felt the heat on our faces all the way in our seats and I'm relatively certain everyone in the first nineteen rows must have walked away sans eyebrows. Later Mitch and I went Christmas shopping for Clark (no, that's not sad; it's AWESOME) because we love her. Note: we frequently joke that we don't want to have kids because we'd really just like to have dogs and vacations, but after spending the afternoon with my cousin's cute (but diva-ish) baby, we may no longer be joking. While we were out, Mitch bought/gave me an early Christmas present: the cutest Peruvian-style winter hat. I'm obsessed. Thanks for being the sweetest boyfriend, Mitchell. :)
The only thing I can keep saying is how blessed I feel all of a sudden. And it's not that anything has drastically changed, it's just that...I look around me and I feel warm with love for the people in my life. The hat helps, too.
There are a lot of really exciting things that are going to happen this coming week, but for now, they must remain secret. :) All the same, I'll end on a list of things I'm looking forward to (because it's fun to remind myself):
- Mitch now lives in DFW and I can see him whenever I want
- Drinks with friends tomorrow night to celebrate the end of finals
- Couples dinner date night on Thursday (Kelsey and Harrison are seriously the cutest)
- Secrets :)
Saturday, November 27, 2010
a very Townsend-Baker thanksgiving
Holidays are lovely, but they really throw off me off, ie. I've thought it was Sunday all day.
I hope everyone had a tasty Thanksgiving! Mitch and I spent time with our families (one of his family traditions is to play a dominoes game called Train whenever everyone's together, which I discovered I'm not good at) and ate two Thanksgiving dinners. I was also able to take a few (non-professional) family photos of the Bakers during one of the brief moments it stopped raining, and I have to say I'm pretty pleased with the results.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Bakers. :)
Favorite Thanksgiving day moment:
laying on the couch & inadvertently spooning Morgan (and the bonding continues...)
I wish we had a picture of the aforementioned spooning, but I suppose this'll do.
I don't like to take normal pictures because they highlight my hideousness but, my god, Mitch has never looked sexier.
On Friday my parents had us take a quick family photo out at a nearby park since my brother and sister-in-law were in town for the holiday. Note: I hate being in pictures, so I was a less-than-happy camper, but whatev. However, it was pretty cute that my family included Mitch in our photo shoot; I thought that was just precious. I guess there's no going back now, eh Mitch? You're on the Christmas card. You're officially stuck with us.
left to right: Mitch, Clark, me, Mama, Dad, my sister-in-law Amy and my brother Benton
(and I'm beyond annoyed that my mom and I look like the same person ughhh)
The rest of this long weekend has consisted of traveling back and forth to Dallas for various reasons (movies, an interview, parties, etc.) and, finally, resting. I can't believe I still have another day of this left! Thanks for taking your sweet time, Sunday.
Oh, and the interview I had today? I think it went well, but I won't find out until Monday whether or not I'll be selected for a second interview. So...we'll see!
Thanksgiving, I cannot believe you have already come & gone, but thank you for bringing together family and food, as well as a cold front. And although I'm grateful for the memories we've made together, it's time to move on. I hope you understand, Thanksgiving...
It's Christmas season, bitches. :)
I hope everyone had a tasty Thanksgiving! Mitch and I spent time with our families (one of his family traditions is to play a dominoes game called Train whenever everyone's together, which I discovered I'm not good at) and ate two Thanksgiving dinners. I was also able to take a few (non-professional) family photos of the Bakers during one of the brief moments it stopped raining, and I have to say I'm pretty pleased with the results.
Favorite Thanksgiving day moment:
laying on the couch & inadvertently spooning Morgan (and the bonding continues...)
On Friday my parents had us take a quick family photo out at a nearby park since my brother and sister-in-law were in town for the holiday. Note: I hate being in pictures, so I was a less-than-happy camper, but whatev. However, it was pretty cute that my family included Mitch in our photo shoot; I thought that was just precious. I guess there's no going back now, eh Mitch? You're on the Christmas card. You're officially stuck with us.
(and I'm beyond annoyed that my mom and I look like the same person ughhh)
The rest of this long weekend has consisted of traveling back and forth to Dallas for various reasons (movies, an interview, parties, etc.) and, finally, resting. I can't believe I still have another day of this left! Thanks for taking your sweet time, Sunday.
Oh, and the interview I had today? I think it went well, but I won't find out until Monday whether or not I'll be selected for a second interview. So...we'll see!
Thanksgiving, I cannot believe you have already come & gone, but thank you for bringing together family and food, as well as a cold front. And although I'm grateful for the memories we've made together, it's time to move on. I hope you understand, Thanksgiving...
It's Christmas season, bitches. :)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
thankful
In keeping with the spirit of Thanksgiving, I wanted to list some things I'm thankful for (and effectively copy ninety-nine percent of the other bloggers in existence).
This year I'm thankful for...
I'll be spending the first part of Thanksgiving day with Mitch and his extended family, then we'll trek back to Grapevine for dessert and AGGIE FOOTBALL with mine.
Too be frank, I'm not a huge Thanksgiving fan. Don't get me wrong: I'm all for being thankful. But my family seems to be one that gets, ahem, unbearably stressed during the holidays, so it in turn make Thanksgiving more of a day to get through than a day to enjoy (sorry, Mom). Regardless, bring on the turkey, mashed potatoes and apple pie*!
*Regrettably, I am a picky eater and these are the only Thanksgiving foods I like. I KNOW.
Monday, October 25, 2010
twitterpated
Well, 'ello, Monday!
This weekend turned out to be muchhh better than I expected. Many thanks to sweetboyfriendpants Mitchell for coming into town and going on a super fun Friday night date with me. :) We grabbed delicious pizza at Grapevine's own Palio's Pizza Cafe (yum) followed by Chill Sports Bar on Main St. for beers and watching the Rangers win their spot in the WORLD SERIES. Perfection? Yes.
Saturday we worked out together at the Grapevine rec (oh, small-ish town, you are adorable) and then vegged out on the couches during the impromptu and very scary thunderstorms that took over the afternoon (there was even a tornado about six miles from my house!). In the evening, we ventured back to Mitch's mom's in Forney, spent time with his besties watching Inglorious Basterds, and crashed early in preparation for church in the morning. I was able to (accidentally) bond with Morgan, Mitch's little sister (well, she's a senior in high school, so not THAT little), on Sunday afternoon when we took the dogs for a walk and ended up having some heavy heart-to-hearts. I'll never say it to her face, but I love her to death and am really happy we've been growing close as of late.
I'm already excited for Friday when I'll head down to Nacogdoches for Stephen F. Austin's homecoming weekend! Last year's was so fun (Mitch and his roommates had a huge party at their place, complete with bounce house!) and I can't wait for the good times that are sure to be had this year.
All that stands in the way is this very lazy week, but I think I can handle that. First up? Heading to a middle school nearby to shoot their football team pictures! Cute. And, yikes, I have to leave in twenty minutes. Happy Monday, everyone!
This weekend turned out to be muchhh better than I expected. Many thanks to sweetboyfriendpants Mitchell for coming into town and going on a super fun Friday night date with me. :) We grabbed delicious pizza at Grapevine's own Palio's Pizza Cafe (yum) followed by Chill Sports Bar on Main St. for beers and watching the Rangers win their spot in the WORLD SERIES. Perfection? Yes.
Saturday we worked out together at the Grapevine rec (oh, small-ish town, you are adorable) and then vegged out on the couches during the impromptu and very scary thunderstorms that took over the afternoon (there was even a tornado about six miles from my house!). In the evening, we ventured back to Mitch's mom's in Forney, spent time with his besties watching Inglorious Basterds, and crashed early in preparation for church in the morning. I was able to (accidentally) bond with Morgan, Mitch's little sister (well, she's a senior in high school, so not THAT little), on Sunday afternoon when we took the dogs for a walk and ended up having some heavy heart-to-hearts. I'll never say it to her face, but I love her to death and am really happy we've been growing close as of late.
I'm already excited for Friday when I'll head down to Nacogdoches for Stephen F. Austin's homecoming weekend! Last year's was so fun (Mitch and his roommates had a huge party at their place, complete with bounce house!) and I can't wait for the good times that are sure to be had this year.
All that stands in the way is this very lazy week, but I think I can handle that. First up? Heading to a middle school nearby to shoot their football team pictures! Cute. And, yikes, I have to leave in twenty minutes. Happy Monday, everyone!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
things that (always) make me happy
My friends being trashclasstastic always brightens my day. Kisses!
Monday, June 21, 2010
today
Today, so far, I am thankful for...
:: Whataburger breakfast
:: Speeding tickets costing $100 less than anticipated
:: Clark Kent :)
:: Commercial-free Mondays on KISS FM
:: The Jamie Foxx billboard as I drove through Terrell, TX (for making me laugh like always)
:: More fun summer weekends to come
:: Sweet, sweet text messages from Mitch
:: The World Cup AND Wimbledon!
:: My beloved and trusty iPhone
:: Having the house all to my self this week (bliss)
Thank you, God, for a great week's beginning.
Friday, June 18, 2010
mishmash: june
I can't stop watching HGTV and the World Cup and this it's because I got fired a little over two weeks ago and, therefore, have nothing else to do.
Whaaat?
I know. I knowwwwwww.
This is surprising, no? Especially since I had just gotten a raise and a promotion, like, ten days prior? To be completely honest, I'm still not entirely certain why I was let go. Our CFO, Brian, came into my office, and said "Hey, ummmmm...sorry, but it's not working out. We're letting you go. Ummmm...we love you as a person, but...yea. Sorry." HA. Honestly, though, I'm assuming they just realized that I wasn't going to be staying with them long-term, and so it was easier to let me go now and hire/train someone who was more permanent. Which is fine. I understand, and I actually agree that that's probably what's best for the company. However, it would have been super if they could have not given me incredible job security and then, BOOM!, out of the blue fire me. Handled. So. Poorly.
I could teach them a thing or two about effective & proper communication.
So, that being said and that being the scenario, I find myself once again at square one. It's frustrating, yes, and pretty overwhelming when I consider all the bills I have rolling in (which are, weird, difficult to pay without any income). But I'm comforting myself with a few realizations:
a. I totally hated working there
b. All my favorite writers/bloggers have also been fired from shit jobs
c. Perhaps this is God giving me a second chance at SUMMER!
d. Things could be way worse
Admittedly, it's taken me these two+ weeks to get to this place, the accepting place where I breathe and sleep and function normally. A lot of things had hit me all at once (ie. a huge speeding ticket, major car repairs needed, getting fired, laptop completely dying, Clark medical issues/vet bills, losing my Aggie ring, etc.). And it's not that any of these things have been solved (I am still laptop-less, dealing with my Louisiana speeding ticket, and up to my ears in vet bills & repair estimates). I guess I've just realized I can't do more than I can do, and I'll just have to be optimistic that help will come in the nick of time.
I've been here in Nac with Mitch since Tuesday because, I mean, why not? I can look for a job on his computer just as easily as on my parent's computer in Grapevine. So Clark and I have been camped out in his apartment, sleeping late and watching a lot of TV while Mitch works tennis camps and teaches lessons. Three of his best friends are coming to visit this weekend and they'll be here tonight, so that should be fun. Then tomorrow night is Caro's sister Elizabeth's wedding in Silsbee! I'm terribly excited to see Caro for the first time in two months (sickkk) and to celebrate with the Sweatt family. Monday means back to Grapevine and back to reality, but meh, that's three days away. :)
In the meantime, when I'm not sleeping, HGTVing, or World Cupping, I'm looking for teaching jobs. The same thing I've been doing since December. Ugh.
I keep reminding myself that most districts don't require their teachers to file resignations until mid- to late-July, so there's still plenty of time for me to hear something. I've literally applied for over four hundred jobs in the past six months. That's not depressing at all, right? Haha. Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for me that I get a call from a school in the next month or two so that I won't continue to be destitute.
For now, I think I'll call the wonderful sheriff's department in St. Landry Parish, Louisiana and excitedly learn how much money I'll get to pay them. Awesome!
PS: Oh, and my mom called yesterday afternoon to say she found my Aggie ring!! Maybe this is where my luck starts! :)
Whaaat?
I know. I knowwwwwww.
This is surprising, no? Especially since I had just gotten a raise and a promotion, like, ten days prior? To be completely honest, I'm still not entirely certain why I was let go. Our CFO, Brian, came into my office, and said "Hey, ummmmm...sorry, but it's not working out. We're letting you go. Ummmm...we love you as a person, but...yea. Sorry." HA. Honestly, though, I'm assuming they just realized that I wasn't going to be staying with them long-term, and so it was easier to let me go now and hire/train someone who was more permanent. Which is fine. I understand, and I actually agree that that's probably what's best for the company. However, it would have been super if they could have not given me incredible job security and then, BOOM!, out of the blue fire me. Handled. So. Poorly.
I could teach them a thing or two about effective & proper communication.
So, that being said and that being the scenario, I find myself once again at square one. It's frustrating, yes, and pretty overwhelming when I consider all the bills I have rolling in (which are, weird, difficult to pay without any income). But I'm comforting myself with a few realizations:
a. I totally hated working there
b. All my favorite writers/bloggers have also been fired from shit jobs
c. Perhaps this is God giving me a second chance at SUMMER!
d. Things could be way worse
Admittedly, it's taken me these two+ weeks to get to this place, the accepting place where I breathe and sleep and function normally. A lot of things had hit me all at once (ie. a huge speeding ticket, major car repairs needed, getting fired, laptop completely dying, Clark medical issues/vet bills, losing my Aggie ring, etc.). And it's not that any of these things have been solved (I am still laptop-less, dealing with my Louisiana speeding ticket, and up to my ears in vet bills & repair estimates). I guess I've just realized I can't do more than I can do, and I'll just have to be optimistic that help will come in the nick of time.
I've been here in Nac with Mitch since Tuesday because, I mean, why not? I can look for a job on his computer just as easily as on my parent's computer in Grapevine. So Clark and I have been camped out in his apartment, sleeping late and watching a lot of TV while Mitch works tennis camps and teaches lessons. Three of his best friends are coming to visit this weekend and they'll be here tonight, so that should be fun. Then tomorrow night is Caro's sister Elizabeth's wedding in Silsbee! I'm terribly excited to see Caro for the first time in two months (sickkk) and to celebrate with the Sweatt family. Monday means back to Grapevine and back to reality, but meh, that's three days away. :)
In the meantime, when I'm not sleeping, HGTVing, or World Cupping, I'm looking for teaching jobs. The same thing I've been doing since December. Ugh.
I keep reminding myself that most districts don't require their teachers to file resignations until mid- to late-July, so there's still plenty of time for me to hear something. I've literally applied for over four hundred jobs in the past six months. That's not depressing at all, right? Haha. Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for me that I get a call from a school in the next month or two so that I won't continue to be destitute.
For now, I think I'll call the wonderful sheriff's department in St. Landry Parish, Louisiana and excitedly learn how much money I'll get to pay them. Awesome!
PS: Oh, and my mom called yesterday afternoon to say she found my Aggie ring!! Maybe this is where my luck starts! :)
Monday, June 14, 2010
an accidental thank-you
My big brother got married on Saturday.
How weird is that? Actually, it's weird that it's not weird. Benton and I are not close in any way, shape or form, but I really did enjoy his wedding (seriously, though, who doesn't enjoy a party with free booze?). He and Amy looked nauseatingly happy and, personally, that kind of overzealous affection makes me vomit. I mean, if I was getting married, I totally wouldn't want my groom blowing kisses at me during the entire ceremony. That's. Too. Much. But hey, that's what they're into, so I suppose it's good they found each other.
It'll come as no surprise then that I've got love on the brain. Weddings'll do that to you.
As I rode back to Dallas with my parents yesterday afternoon, I listened (via iPod) to Keith Urban's newest CD, Defying Gravity. I'm not a huge country music fan, but I liked it. Anyway, the song Standing Right in Front of You really piqued my interest and made me smile. Now, of course I have no actual way of knowing, but it made me think of some of the things Mitch must have been thinking the entire year we casually dated, a term that's always made me laugh.
Out on the street corner, just like every morning,
I sit here and watch you walk my way
And even though I don't know you,
As you get closer,
I swear, I feel my heart start racing, aching
Maybe it's in my mind
And maybe I'm only dreaming
But I swear, you catch my eye as you walk by
Oh, why you gotta leave me so blue?
Baby, why can't you see that I'm the only one for you?
You can search the world over, but
You'll never find another so true
'Cause if you're looking for love, I'm standing right in front of you
I bet your heart, like mine, has been broken
By someone you should have never given it to
So, we put up a wall to keep from falling so hard [again]
It's so sad
'Cause there's such good love inside
And I've been hoping that I might find
Someone who feels the same way
Someone to share my life
On this beautiful ride, together we can see it through
Baby, why can't you see that I'm the only one for you?
You can search the world over, but
You'll never find another so true
And if you're looking for love,
I'm standing right in front of you
Open your heart, girl
Let me make your dreams come true
You could search the world over,
But I can take you to the moon
'Cause if you're looking for love, I'm standing right in front of you
[open your eyes]
...
They met at a party. She was completely unavailable, but he was caught up in her eyebrow ring and smile. They became friends. And then they weren't because life gets in the way. And then they were again. They accidentally spent Easter together. She wrote it off as something silly. He didn't. They went to concerts and on roadtrips, drank beers during the daytime, raised her puppy, took long naps, met each other's parents, watched fireworks, and played in the lake all summer. He brought her back to life. Sometimes they were frustrated by not being in the same place; when he was ready, she wasn't. And when she finally was, he suddenly wasn't. But they never fought, which in and of itself was what she loved the most. He came to her graduation. She moved farther away. They went to hockey games and pint night at the Flying Saucer. They went to more weddings than funerals. He gave her a card for no reason but to tell her she was beautiful.
And somewhere along the way they fell in love. Absolutely.
...
Mitchell, this has not been the easiest year and some odd months. In particular the last couple weeks have been trying, and you have, through it all, been steadfast. I love that you cry just as much as I do even though I tease you mercilessly for it. I love your beard and your blue eyes and your Finley nose. I love your laugh. I love how excited Clark gets when she sees you. I love the way you dance, in the car and anywhere else. You are the true definition of an optimist. You have the sunniest, happiest personality, and everyone who meets you falls instantly under a spell you don't even realize you're casting.
You remind me that I don't have to do it all alone and that I don't always have to be in control. You work alongside me because you want to, not because you have to. My parents and friends love you possibly even more than I do. I love that sometimes you get so excited for me to visit that you even vacuum. I love you for coaching tennis for six-year olds. I love your friends. I even love your mother. I love your desire to work hard. You are ambitious in your own right, tackling endeavour after endeavour with too much humility to ever brag. I'm proud of you for starting the club team and then your own business. I'm proud of you for paying your way through school. I'm proud of you for keeping your closet clean after you let me organize it. And, Mitch, I'm not sorry it took us a year to settle down. I love our story exactly the way it is. I love the way we've turned out and I love us.
You remind me that I don't have to do it all alone and that I don't always have to be in control. You work alongside me because you want to, not because you have to. My parents and friends love you possibly even more than I do. I love that sometimes you get so excited for me to visit that you even vacuum. I love you for coaching tennis for six-year olds. I love your friends. I even love your mother. I love your desire to work hard. You are ambitious in your own right, tackling endeavour after endeavour with too much humility to ever brag. I'm proud of you for starting the club team and then your own business. I'm proud of you for paying your way through school. I'm proud of you for keeping your closet clean after you let me organize it. And, Mitch, I'm not sorry it took us a year to settle down. I love our story exactly the way it is. I love the way we've turned out and I love us.
You are all of our good and I am all of our bad, I know, but thank you for loving me all the same.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
i'm ready, i'm ready to drop
Today is my Friday. :)
I've taken tomorrow off so Mitch & I can drive to Louisiana for Memorial Day weekend with my family! My aunt, uncle and cousins live in Mandeville, LA, about forty-five minutes from New Orleans. Since it's a holiday weekend, there are tons of festivals going on around and in Mandeville, and Mitch & I are super excited to play. My cousin Braeden (age 9) has his first piano recital tomorrow night (isn't that cute?), and I'm so looking forward to seeing him play. There's a big block-party-like festival in Covington on Friday night, the Food & Wine Festival in NOLA on Saturday, and some other outdoor festival in Mandeville all day Sunday. It's going to be...just wonderful. Plus, my family is fun and amazing and badass, and I love spending time with them. I can't wait to drive down tomorrow morning!
I'm leaving work early today to drive in to Nac for the night, and we'll leave for Mandeville from there. I told Mitch he has to drive since he gets to sleep and watch TV all week while I work 40+ hours, haha.
Here's to a great weekend! Happy (early) Memorial Day weekend, everyone! :)
Monday, May 3, 2010
mishmash: may
I honestly don't enjoy being moody, despite popular belief.
I don't like not liking my work. I don't like acting irritable when I get home because I'm frustrated by living with my parents. I don't like literally living for the weekends alone. That's silly and it's stupid. I try to give myself pep talks in order to remind myself that I do have the ability to adopt a more positive mindset. I really do.
...
take a good look at yourself & know
you've got yourself a ways to go
but difficult is not impossible
you can take back all the lost control
...
The words to the bridge of Relient K's Hope for Every Fallen Man (above) always bring me such peace and comfort. From time to time I need a reminder that yes, I've got a ways to go but no, difficult isn't impossible and I can take back all the lost control.
And besides, there really is so much to be grateful for. The next several weekends are going to be busy and wonderful. College Station for my best friend Kristin's graduation. Briarwood Semi-formal. Yoga classes. Roadtrip to Mandevilla/NOLA with Mitch over Memorial weekend. :) Free Press Summer Fest music festival in Houston. My brother's wedding/open bar reception. DrUncle Sam 4th of July Party Barge on Lake Conroe. Family reunion. Briarwood floats tha rivaaa. There will be wonderful times with wonderful friends and I am most definitely thankful for that.
In other news, today I am especially grateful for weekends spent watching my boyfriend kick ass in tennis tournaments. I was such the proud fan. :)
Monday, April 26, 2010
now let's pretend like it was all-good
Oh, Monday, I always wish you were Friday.
This weekend was absolutely lovely, though, and I was finally able to visit my friends in Austin! We didn't do a ton, but it was wonderful and relaxing. When Jordan and I got into town on Friday night we met up with Caroline for dinner at a place I can't remember the name of...but it had a great patio and the weather was nice. :) We spent most of the day Saturday laying by the pool, talking and getting progressively more sunburned. Kristin was able to meet up with with us that night for dinner at El Arroyo and then a little fun on West 6th Street. Annnnd I was super excited to see Kelley for even a little bit on Sunday; she and Mike joined Jordan, Caroline and I for brunch at the Iron Cactus on 6th, which by the way was super yummy. I wish I had remembered to take more pictures, but I was distracted. It felt so good to just be with my people again.
Briarwood lives on. SFP.
...
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now
...
In other news, I received my test scores for the EC-6 generalist exam I (unexpectedly) had to take last week and I passed! Oh, and please listen to Airplanes Pt. 2 by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams (of Paramore) and Eminem. It's fantastic and I've been listening to it all weekend/morning.
Monday, April 19, 2010
can anybody find their home?
I've been listening to Sunshine by Keane a lot today. The melody is so soothing and the lyrics, while a little strange, draw me in for some inexplicable reason. Anyway, I'm loving it.
I cannot believe how quickly this past weekend went by. I feel like I blinked and it was over. On Friday night I diligently spent the evening prepping for Saturday's district job fairs. Of course that's no one's favorite Friday night, but mehhh.
Saturday morning I went to Cedar Hill ISD's job fair and was surprised by how much I liked it out there. It's kind of far from where I am now (about 45 minutes), but I don't really mind. Everyone was split up between elementary and secondary; that always confuses me only because with 4-8 certification, I'm eligible for both. Anyway, normally in that situation I just stop by the elementary side first, do my "interview" and then head over to the secondary side and repeat. However, at Cedar Hill we were only allowed one interview so we had to just pick a side. I impulsively chose elementary and was kind of having second thoughts when they finally called me back to meet with someone, but my gosh, I'm really glad I made the choice I did. The woman who "interviewed" me ended up being the Language Arts director for the entire district! After we talked for awhile, she told me I had great energy and that she was definitely going to pass on my resume, etc. to the intermediate school principals (5th and 6th grades). Then she told me to just wait for a phone call. I felt like that was really positive, and I'm cautiously optimistic I'll hear from them.
I had planned on also going to Irving ISD and Richardson ISD's job fairs, but on the way up to Irving my car started acting funny and I ended up having to make a detour to the mechanic. Hundreds of dollars and two missed job fairs later, it's working fine. Ugh.
On Saturday night, Mitch picked me up for an extremely belated birthday date. We had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, which was incredible of course, but when we were leaving we saw that it was pouring down rain. And duh, we didn't have an umbrella. We were both totally and completely soaked when we finally made it to the car. So much for looking nice, haha. From dinner we drove into Grand Prairie for the Owl City concert. Seeing as how we're both older than fourteen, we definitely stuck out so we decided to immediately buy drinks in order to flaunt our awesome older-ness. Suck it, pre-teens. We've got beer. Anyway, the concert was wonderful but the drive home felt like it took forever and we were both so tired.
Yesterday after church we saw Death at a Funeral; hilarious. Go see it immediately. If it's even possible, I'm more in love with James Marsden than I was before seeing the movie.
Monday obviously means it's back to the corporate grind. I'm trying so hard every day to be patient with, optimistic about and grateful for the place I'm in. At the same time, though, living at home makes me feel like a rebellious teenager, I'm growing increasingly stressed and nervous about finding a teaching job for the fall, and I miss my friends. This coming weekend I'm going to Austin for a small Briarwood reunion; I can't believe it's been four months since I last saw my friends. How ridiculous is that? Goddamn. I can't wait to enjoy every minute with them!
Oh, and one final thought: I also cannot wait for December when Mitch moves back to Dallas. Sure, Forney's nearly an hour away...but it's better than the three and a half we're at right now! Mitchell, get me a job in Cedar Hill and then do your student teaching in Cedar Hilllllll. M'kay great. :)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
train
the way you can cut a rug,
I'm really enjoying having someone to talk about my day with. Doesn't it just feel nice after work to call someone? I work with people all day, yes, but something about collections calls and business meetings lacks the spark of real human connection.
PS: I've decided I'd really love to be Scarlett Johanson's character Annie from the Nanny Diaries, only without the shitty nanny job. Her clothes are kickass and she's probably the most adorable creatures I've ever seen. Arghhhh. New life goal? Become Scarlett Johansson. Period.
PPS: I think I'll really enjoy having someone to come home to someday.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
well, there's just so much to be grateful for
Work just about killed me today.
I wasn't sure I could make it all eight hours without doing something drastic. It's like invoicing got even more tedious over night. Ugh. I absolutely hate the days I'm unable to focus (like today). Not only do they make me feel like a terrible employee, but I end up falling behind which just makes me hate it even more. It's a vicious circle.
Thank goodness I have Tiffany and Hannah, the only two other women who work in my office. They are 34-years old and best friends; they even graduated from high school together! Precious. Tiffany has two great kids, Carlie and Logan, while Hannah is eagerly awaiting the arrival of her first, Ethan Cole, due any day now. Hannah has been out over a week already on bed rest and, I have to say, I'm missing her more than I thought I would. But Tiffany is great and Hannah being gone has given us more time to get to know one another. I had so much fun during our lunch break yesterday, just chatting. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I can tell her anything. And I like that she gets that this is obviously not the kind of work I want to do, haha.
I guess what I'm saying is that if I have to work in an industry I know nothing about doing a job completely unrelated to my skills and interests, at least I have sweet people around me. :)
In other concluding news, I just accidentally took a three and a half hour nap. Totally going to sleep well tonight now...not. Ha.
I wasn't sure I could make it all eight hours without doing something drastic. It's like invoicing got even more tedious over night. Ugh. I absolutely hate the days I'm unable to focus (like today). Not only do they make me feel like a terrible employee, but I end up falling behind which just makes me hate it even more. It's a vicious circle.
Thank goodness I have Tiffany and Hannah, the only two other women who work in my office. They are 34-years old and best friends; they even graduated from high school together! Precious. Tiffany has two great kids, Carlie and Logan, while Hannah is eagerly awaiting the arrival of her first, Ethan Cole, due any day now. Hannah has been out over a week already on bed rest and, I have to say, I'm missing her more than I thought I would. But Tiffany is great and Hannah being gone has given us more time to get to know one another. I had so much fun during our lunch break yesterday, just chatting. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I can tell her anything. And I like that she gets that this is obviously not the kind of work I want to do, haha.
I guess what I'm saying is that if I have to work in an industry I know nothing about doing a job completely unrelated to my skills and interests, at least I have sweet people around me. :)
In other concluding news, I just accidentally took a three and a half hour nap. Totally going to sleep well tonight now...not. Ha.
Monday, April 5, 2010
top notch
All in all, I'd have to say the Deep Ellum Arts Festival this weekend was a lot of fun! I wasn't sure what to expect, but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves so I'm happy. :) We took Clark along on Saturday and I kind of wish we hadn't... I love her, but she's a huge distraction. I spent most of our time being stressed that she was going to jump on someone. But actually she was really well-behaved so I was basically stressing myself out for no reason. Ha.
Anyway, there were silly bands, food food food, tons of people & their dogs, and art absolutely everywhere. Beautiful. I'm a huge fan of public art. This was also my first time in Deep Ellum. I have no idea why it's taken me so long to get down there, but I absolutely loved it. It would be incredible to live down there, drug and gang problems aside. I loved just wandering through the festival up and down Main and then crossing over to Commerce for drinks at Angry Dog & The Twisted Root. It was simple but wonderful.
More than anything it felt good to just be out with friends, enjoying the sunshine and taking pictures. I haven't really gone out in Dallas since I moved up here, so this festival and time with my friends was like a breath of fresh air. Thanks for playing, dear friends!
Now it's back to grind and I have a ton to do today since I left a few hours early on Friday. Oops. Plus one of our VPs called me into his office this morning and wants to train me to do some things for him starting today. I'm really excited (and thrilled to know he's "been hearing great things" about me!) but possibly overwhelmed... Sometimes I can barely keep up with A/R!
Anyway, today I'm grateful for beautiful friends, giant 12 oz. cans of Red Bull, pink sunburned cheeks, the nicest boy in the entire world, Deep Ellum, the promise of tomorrow, my iPod, and the blessed life I know I lead.
Anyway, there were silly bands, food food food, tons of people & their dogs, and art absolutely everywhere. Beautiful. I'm a huge fan of public art. This was also my first time in Deep Ellum. I have no idea why it's taken me so long to get down there, but I absolutely loved it. It would be incredible to live down there, drug and gang problems aside. I loved just wandering through the festival up and down Main and then crossing over to Commerce for drinks at Angry Dog & The Twisted Root. It was simple but wonderful.
More than anything it felt good to just be out with friends, enjoying the sunshine and taking pictures. I haven't really gone out in Dallas since I moved up here, so this festival and time with my friends was like a breath of fresh air. Thanks for playing, dear friends!
Now it's back to grind and I have a ton to do today since I left a few hours early on Friday. Oops. Plus one of our VPs called me into his office this morning and wants to train me to do some things for him starting today. I'm really excited (and thrilled to know he's "been hearing great things" about me!) but possibly overwhelmed... Sometimes I can barely keep up with A/R!
Anyway, today I'm grateful for beautiful friends, giant 12 oz. cans of Red Bull, pink sunburned cheeks, the nicest boy in the entire world, Deep Ellum, the promise of tomorrow, my iPod, and the blessed life I know I lead.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
the best part about saturdays
is that there's* still Sundays to look forward to. :)
When I realized a few hours ago that there's still a whole day left of the weekend, I got giddy with excitement. It's not that it's been anything special, but it feels intoxicating to not set an alarm, to have no where to be, to have the whole beautiful day ahead of me.
I may waste it washing sheets and putting away laundry. But who knows! It could be spent exploring, being spontaneous, playing in the park, embarking on an adventure, trying a new restaurant. NOT washing sheets and putting away laundry. Either way, it's all mine. How delicious.
I love weekends!
*grammatically incorrect, I knowwww
When I realized a few hours ago that there's still a whole day left of the weekend, I got giddy with excitement. It's not that it's been anything special, but it feels intoxicating to not set an alarm, to have no where to be, to have the whole beautiful day ahead of me.
I may waste it washing sheets and putting away laundry. But who knows! It could be spent exploring, being spontaneous, playing in the park, embarking on an adventure, trying a new restaurant. NOT washing sheets and putting away laundry. Either way, it's all mine. How delicious.
I love weekends!
*grammatically incorrect, I knowwww
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
happy award
Beautiful, sweet Alex gave me this adorable Happy Award which really made my day, so here are ten things that make me happypandapants:
1. Clark Kent, the most incredibly adorable and fantastic dog to ever exist. :) Most of the time I'm convinced she's all I need in the world. We're perfect for each other.
2. Leftovers straight from the refrigerator because I've convinced myself that cold food, specifically day-old chicken fettuccine Alfredo, is actually healthier.
3. The way my legs feel after a terrible run or set of squats. You know, that squibbly feeling where you know you could collapse at any given second? YES.
4. My old apartment and my (former) roommate. 333 FOREVER. I love you, Jennifer!
5. The technological advances of society that have brought me both gchat and the Briarwood listserv, two of my very favorite things in the world.
6. Writing.
7. Napping in my backyard.
8. Reading a real page-turner, the kind of book so good you can't help but curl up, away from any & every distraction, and read all in one afternoon. God bless the likes of Jane Austen and Fyodor Dostoevsky, but the real page-turners for me usually end up being trashy teen novels. Guilty pleasure #987271113.
9. Great hair days, however few and far between they may be.
10. Clicking the "Pay Remaining Balance" button on my online credit card statement. FUCK YOU, DISCOVER. I am your slave no longer!
Monday, March 22, 2010
to not losing sight
The past 24-hour period has been strange, to say the least.
First Mitchell and I saw a girl have a seizure while we were at lunch. And by "saw," I mean "the girl was laying on the ground at our feet while paramedics gave her CPR after she stopped breathing." It was scary and awkward. I just hate situations like that... Not just because they're awful, but also because I'm never sure how to react. We didn't want to be assholes and completely ignore what was happening, and at the same time, you don't want to be assholes and draw even more attention to the poor family who's scared and (possibly) embarrassed enough as it is. We compromised by sitting completely still and staring at each other, as opposed to eating or talking. Or breathing. Oh, and for the record, I think she was going to be just fine.
Later in the afternoon Mitch gets the terrible phone call letting him know his grandmother passed away. She'd been having some minor health problems in the past few months but nothing life-threatening, so her passing was a complete shock. Again...an awkward situation for me to be in... Tangent: I've always considered myself a very sensitive, deep girl who embraces personal intimacy with friends, family, etc., but in the past couple years I've realized how much deep, serious moments scare the fuck out of me. Turns out I don't handle them well in that, surprise surprise, I'm hella awkward. End tangent. So anyway, I had to wait with Mitch while he broke the news to his mom and sister, and it was just so sad.
The cherry on top of an already unlucky day was that I'd been feeling sick since right after lunch. Just general nausea... I assumed I ate to much since, well, I tend to do that. I love food. It's fine. However, this time around it wasn't fine and I've since spent the past day alternating between a. puking my guts up, b. enjoying my 101 degree fever, and c. fitfully dreaming about POs & invoice numbers. Loverrrly.
Needless to say, Sunday wasn't the best. And Monday hasn't been too swell either.
Besides just physical unrest, I'm not going to lie...the past couple weeks have been difficult ones. It's been a struggle to remain positive and remind myself of all I have to be grateful for (which is terrible sounding, I know, when my life really is truly blessed). I have fantastic parents who not only let me live at home rent-free (not my dream, but again...it's FREE) but also support me in whatever it is I find I want to do. I was fortunate enough to land a job after only three weeks of searching and, while it's not anything I'm remotely interested in pursuing, it's enabled me to completely pay off my credit card and begin putting money into savings. I have friends, more far than near; but regardless, people that love me and make me laugh. My dog kicks ass and never ceases to provide much-needed comfort at the end of stressful days. I'm young, I'm (moderately, ha) healthy, and I'm not living on the streets. It would be wrong to complain, and I am overcome with guilt whenever I've allowed myself to lapse into a wallowing pool of self-pity. Don't I realize my life could be exponentially worse?
The majority of my frustrations stem from my charming impatience. It's frustrating applying for jobs and hearing nothing back. It's frustrating living at home and having no idea when I'll be able to afford a place of my own. It's frustrating being in Dallas when all my friends are in Austin and Houston. It's frustrating doing a job I have no passion for. It's all so frustrating because life's not easy. But it's good. Life is so very good, friends.
I know the world is bigger than me, bigger than Grapevine, bigger than accounts receivable, bigger than living out of a suitcase, bigger than late fees, bigger than morning traffic. It's a constant battle to remind myself of that, but I can't lose hope and I can't lose sight of the beautiful things.
PS: Please keep the Baker family in your prayers during this sad time.
First Mitchell and I saw a girl have a seizure while we were at lunch. And by "saw," I mean "the girl was laying on the ground at our feet while paramedics gave her CPR after she stopped breathing." It was scary and awkward. I just hate situations like that... Not just because they're awful, but also because I'm never sure how to react. We didn't want to be assholes and completely ignore what was happening, and at the same time, you don't want to be assholes and draw even more attention to the poor family who's scared and (possibly) embarrassed enough as it is. We compromised by sitting completely still and staring at each other, as opposed to eating or talking. Or breathing. Oh, and for the record, I think she was going to be just fine.
Later in the afternoon Mitch gets the terrible phone call letting him know his grandmother passed away. She'd been having some minor health problems in the past few months but nothing life-threatening, so her passing was a complete shock. Again...an awkward situation for me to be in... Tangent: I've always considered myself a very sensitive, deep girl who embraces personal intimacy with friends, family, etc., but in the past couple years I've realized how much deep, serious moments scare the fuck out of me. Turns out I don't handle them well in that, surprise surprise, I'm hella awkward. End tangent. So anyway, I had to wait with Mitch while he broke the news to his mom and sister, and it was just so sad.
The cherry on top of an already unlucky day was that I'd been feeling sick since right after lunch. Just general nausea... I assumed I ate to much since, well, I tend to do that. I love food. It's fine. However, this time around it wasn't fine and I've since spent the past day alternating between a. puking my guts up, b. enjoying my 101 degree fever, and c. fitfully dreaming about POs & invoice numbers. Loverrrly.
Needless to say, Sunday wasn't the best. And Monday hasn't been too swell either.
Besides just physical unrest, I'm not going to lie...the past couple weeks have been difficult ones. It's been a struggle to remain positive and remind myself of all I have to be grateful for (which is terrible sounding, I know, when my life really is truly blessed). I have fantastic parents who not only let me live at home rent-free (not my dream, but again...it's FREE) but also support me in whatever it is I find I want to do. I was fortunate enough to land a job after only three weeks of searching and, while it's not anything I'm remotely interested in pursuing, it's enabled me to completely pay off my credit card and begin putting money into savings. I have friends, more far than near; but regardless, people that love me and make me laugh. My dog kicks ass and never ceases to provide much-needed comfort at the end of stressful days. I'm young, I'm (moderately, ha) healthy, and I'm not living on the streets. It would be wrong to complain, and I am overcome with guilt whenever I've allowed myself to lapse into a wallowing pool of self-pity. Don't I realize my life could be exponentially worse?
The majority of my frustrations stem from my charming impatience. It's frustrating applying for jobs and hearing nothing back. It's frustrating living at home and having no idea when I'll be able to afford a place of my own. It's frustrating being in Dallas when all my friends are in Austin and Houston. It's frustrating doing a job I have no passion for. It's all so frustrating because life's not easy. But it's good. Life is so very good, friends.
I know the world is bigger than me, bigger than Grapevine, bigger than accounts receivable, bigger than living out of a suitcase, bigger than late fees, bigger than morning traffic. It's a constant battle to remind myself of that, but I can't lose hope and I can't lose sight of the beautiful things.
PS: Please keep the Baker family in your prayers during this sad time.
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