Thursday, January 27, 2011

sea of love

Y'all, yesterday Joanna Goddard of A Cup of Jo posted the sweetest wedding video I've ever seen in my entire life. Whoa. No shame, I've watched it about a million times. The song is a cover of "Sea of Love," sung by Cat Power (this song = precious) and I just HAD to share. :)

Adam & Eve from dolly on Vimeo

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

you want your dog to become an addict, you know, like gamblers

This pearl of wisdom was shared with us by none other than Matthew Broderick, aka. our Matthew Broderick lookalike dog trainer. Same diff.

We had our third obedience class this past Monday and unfortunately it wasn't near as interesting as the first two times except for the fact that I spent the first ten minutes trying to take a picture of Mia with my iPhone. I was basically unsuccessful, which is weird because I wasn't trying to be subtle at all. Huh. Anyway, this is the best I could do:

So...basically just a picture of our trainer's ass. My bad.

Sidenote: Mitch has forbidden me to tell Scott (our trainer's actual name) that he looks like Matthew Broderick because Mitch is convinced he hears this all the time and I'll just annoy him. Okay, so that's probably true, but for some reason I feel like if I don't tell him, I'LL EXPLODE.

End sidenote.

So, class was whatev and the only semi-exciting thing that happened was when Charlie (one of the dogs) threw up for seemingly no reason. Mitch felt bad and was all, "Awwww, Charlie, are you okay?" and then whispered to me, I wish Charlie would've thrown up on that bitch Mia. Sweet, right?

For those not in the know, we hate Mia.

And just for gigs, here is a picture I took when we were supposed to be teaching Pete how to walk on a leash but did this instead:

That's probably not correct leash handling.

PS: In totally unrelated (but totally exciting) news, tomorrow I have my first substitute teaching orientation! HEY-OH! That's right, y'all, after over a year of applying to sub absolutely everywhere, I finally heard back from a district that's crazy enough to give me a shot. Subbing, at least. Am I thrilled it's all the way out in Forney and an hour away from home? God. No. But at this point, I'll take what I can get AND it means I get to stay the night at Mitch's tonight. Score. Keep y'all's fingers crossed that after I'm finally in the system I'll actually get called to sub! :)

Monday, January 24, 2011

that's what's up

Mitch Baker has a million jobs.

Of course there are the standards such as being a wonderful son, friend, boyfriend, etc, but on top of it all he’s also a dedicated student. Oh, and he coaches private tennis lessons because he’s awesome. Then last week he started another job as a math tutor in Dallas the three days a week he’s not already someone's private math tutor. And did I mention that TODAY he starts student teaching full-time?

Right. Now I may not be as smart as Mitch, but all these jobs + the number of available hours in a day… Something about that math just doesn’t add up.


It’s not that shocking, really. Me? I’ll admit I’m…lazy. Okay, I said it. Ouch. But Mitch is hands down the most ambitious, hardworking person you’ll ever meet. Isn’t that sexy? No, seriously, isn’t it? ‘Cause I think so. Back in the day when we were first hanging out, before I, you know, fell all in love with him and stuff, I remember telling everyone (ie. my parents, friends, strangers who had only politely asked if I was seeing someone, etc.) that I could easily marry Mitch Baker and have the happiest life ever because, dude, have you seen how hard he works? He would always take care of us and protect us and do whatever it took to provide for us. Damn. Then, of course, I did fall all in love with him and stuff, and the thought of marrying him got even more awesome. Who’d a thunk it?


So, today’s post is for you, Mitch. Your first day as Mr. Baker, Super Student Teacher Specializing in 7th Grade Math, has just begun and I know you’re more excited than you even realize. And yes, your schedule is going to be crazy over the next thirteen weeks as you tackle absolutely everything in front of you (with an ever-present smile and cheery attitude), but I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you.

To Mr. Baker!

PS: It’s weird to say that and not think of your dad slash your dad’s mustache. Hey, remember that time you told me your dad was a cowboy? And how sad I was when I finally met him and he DIDN’T have a handlebar mustache and WASN’T wearing chaps?

Saturday, January 22, 2011

dinner of champions

Growing up I hated Red Bull.

You know, the energy drink? During middle school and the early years of my high school career, my mom worked for the promotional company in charge of getting people psyched about Red Bull. We had cases all over the house because, duh, they were free. I long to go back to a time filled with free Red Bull because, well, I'm addicted. I used to think it tasted like Sweet Tarts mixed with tin foil, but now? Now it tastes like everything that's right with the world.

Too much?

This week has been a particularly busy one, work-wise, and I ended up having three (practically) all day shoots in a row. You don't realize how physical photo shoots are until you find yourself setting up and then breaking down stand after stand after stand after stand, hauling heavy tripods to and from location, running back and forth between the gym and the cafeteria because the schedule is too tight (read: impossible) and you need to be in two places at once. Not to mention all the crowd control, posing, and screaming. It's just a lot of work, okay? You get in the car when the last light has been loaded and the day is finally done and you realize: oh my god, I could pass out right here, right now.

That's how I felt Thursday night after the second shoot of the week: totally and completely exhausted. However, for the better part of a year, I've had a standing Thursday night date with my friend Kelsey (and her fiancé - ahhhhhh! - Harrison) who lives in Uptown. It started out as just getting together to watch Jersey Shore (judge away, please), but even after season 2 ended, we kept on with what had become something of a weekly ritual. Now that Mitch has moved back to Dallas and season 3 of the Jerz is upon us, it's become more of a weekly double date. Beverages ranging from cocktails to Sangria to bags of Franzia (don't deny it, Kelsey) followed by casual conversation and ending with an hour of DVRed Jersey Shore goodness come together to make one of my favorite evenings of the week.

Sidenote: you know what's awesome? Having couples friends. WHO KNEW. Don't get me wrong (and this is mostly directed to Mitch and I's single friends who I know secretly read my blog -- I'm on to y'all), I love my friends. Remember how bangin' I said they are? And I love Mitch's friends. I might even love Mitch's friends more than he does (shoutout to the Forneytown Boys, HEY-OH! and Trevor, too!). But having friends who are also a couple and who are also awesome has been a badass experience for us. It just had to be said.

End sidenote.

Basically all that's to say that this past Thursday I was tired, maybe a little too tired to make the forty minute drive out to Uptown. But when I texted Mitch saying, heyyyyy, sooooo, I don't want to bail on tonight, but..., his reply? Stick it out. Just drink a Red Bull.

Oh, hitting me in my weak spot. Well-played.

I couldn't very well bail after that. ALL I NEEDED WAS A RED BULL. OF COURSE. But you know what I also needed? Dinner. And, parents, since I also know y'all read this from time to time, can y'all PLEASE go grocery shopping soon? I really hate those granola protein bars and they're all we have to eat. I'LL STARVE FIRST. But instead of starving on Thursday, however, I decided the smart move was just to take some vitamins. Well, eat some vitamins.

Well, gummy vitamins.

Hello, beautiful.

I stuck the whole bottle in my purse and drove to Kelsey's apartment, chugging the aforementinoed Red Bull and eating handfuls of gummy vitamins. At one point I remember thinking, hey, maybe I should ration these, like, only eat one every mile? But then I realized that would be thirty vitamins and also, I'd only driven three miles and eaten eleven, so...that clearly wasn't going to happen.

Needless to say, I didn't restrain myself. I ate almost the entire bottle (they're 200% Vitamin D!) and had a great night. So great, in fact, that when I woke up at the crack of dawn the next morning for the next shoot and wanted to kill myself? I did the same thing.

Red Bull and a bottle of gummy vitamins. The new Wheaties?

Friday, January 21, 2011



oh, today i finally overcame
trying to fit the world inside a picture frame
maybe i will tell you all about it when i'm in the mood to lose my way with words

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

it's in the bag (blog crawl)

A Hasty Life

Today I'm participating in the It's In the Bag blog crawl put on by sweet Ashley over at A Hasty Life. Please excuse the poor quality of the pictures... I was forced to use my iPhone last minute since for some reason I can't seem to find a working camera anywhere in this house. And my parents and I are photographers. Riddle me that.

I'm not really a huge purse person. In fact I have yet to break down and actually purchase a big girl purse, preferring instead to stick to sling bags because I'm lazy and they are sooo comfortable to wear. And no hassle.

example: sling bags are great for wearing around Bourbon Street in that they leave both hands free for booze
(not picture: many beers)

example: sling bags are great for wearing while posing next to Wu Tang Klan graffitied dumpsters in Houston

example: sling bags are great for wearing while drunk dancing the night after college graduation while also wearing a man's sweater bought at a resale shop for exactly four dollars
(note: this is my friend Todd, and Mitch is totally okay with this picture; also, check out how much fun I'm having)

However, here is my current sling bag (a much beloved Christmas present from my favorite aunt, holla!):

I know y'all are way bummed this isn't a picture of me wearing it, but I don't have any yet. Womp womppp.

And now the good stuff: contents.

1. Always gots to be carrying my current read around with me because, hey, you never know when you're going to have some down time and need a book. As of late I'm reading Righting the Mother Tongue: From Olde English to Email, the Tangled Story of English Spelling by David Wolman. Judge all you want, this book is awesome.

2. I have a (possibly rational?) fear of smelling bad, which has lead me to carry both deodorant and body spray with me at all times.

3. Three sticks of Burt's Bees chapstick. I don't know why I have so many in here.

4. The Vera Bradly wallet my grandmother gave me several Christmases ago. Love it.

5. Annnnd of course, the matching Vera Bradley sunglasses case because I like to look like a tool but mostly because my grandmother loves everything to match.

6. Ironic proof of my totally reasonable obsession with Taco Bueno. I'm not even embarrassed.

7. Fingerless gloves. I have no idea why I even bother carrying these. If it's cold enough for gloves, it's cold enough for my fingers to be gloved too. I don't understand myself.

8. Keys with an unnecessary amount of keychains.

9. Typed notes from Monday night's obedience school class. Don't worry, I didn't take the time to type these. Matthew Broderick did.

10. My trusty planner. Never leave home without it.

11. iPhone charger because I can't seem to remember to charge my phone when I'm home and it's convenient.

12. Lotion. Pen. Tampon (duh). A tiny sample bottle of Kim Kardashian's perfume which I swear was sent to me free in the mail. It only smells okay.

13. My iPhone, Gad (not pictured since it was used to take these stunning photographs).

I know that was pretty exciting, y'all, so thanks for keeping your shit together long enough to make it all the way to the end. But seriously, thanks for stopping by and be sure to check out yesterday's participant, Caroline, over at Simply Smithwick!

PS: Get so excited for tomorrow's poster: my friend Alex, the lovely lady behind Mutual Weirdness. Yay Alex! :)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

a collection of facts & feelings

If I lived alone, I'd probably spend less time wearing pants.

Being a middle school photographer makes me feel like a rockstar when the kids are excited to see me and remember my name.

I wish I could eat Taco Bueno party burritos like, all day, every day.

This absolutely cracks me up.

Sometimes I resent my dogs. And by my dogs, I mostly mean Pete. And that makes me feel like a bad person.

I like that I like beer.

To paraphrase Mandy Moore in License to Wed, I'd marry Mitch Baker tomorrow in a potato sack dress in the middle of a rainstorm if it meant spending the rest of my life with him.

And on that note, I have an inexplicable fascination with all things Mandy Moore.

I really believe in this.

If there's a Law & Order SVU marathon on somewhere, I can kiss all thoughts of productivity goodbye.

Yum. To both.

I wish I took myself more seriously and gave myself more credit.

I waste a lot of time here. And here. And here. And I never get tired of reading this.

My friends are so effortlessly cool and hot at the same time that it makes me feel a lot cooler and hotter just being known and loved by them. Not that looks are the most important thing in the world; I just happen to have really bangin' friends.

Briarwood. My bad for ruining this picture.

Which reminds me of the time in ninth grade athletics that our teacher asked us what was the most important thing to look for in friends and I answered ummmm...they have to be good looking? No one laughed and I was sent to the principal's office. I went to private school where no one was funny. IT WAS A JOKE, BITCHES. Whatev. I'm over it.

Anyway, it's Tuesday. I love Tuesdays. Happy Tuesday, y'all.

Monday, January 17, 2011

mishmash: january

While this was one of the most fun and relaxing weekends I've had in idon'tknowhowlong, I find that I don't have a ton to say about it. Ha.

Mitch ended up spending the weekend in Grapevine with me (yay!), which involved a lot of snacking, movie-watching, and napping. On Saturday afternoon we saw Black Swan (wtf...) and were forever scarred. And then Saturday night we went out with friends to a place in Dallas called Barcadia. Have y'all ever heard of it? Basically it's this neat bar that's filled with old school arcade games like Miss Pac Man, Donkey Kong Jr., Centipede, etc. They also have a giant version on Jenga out on their patio (which the boys apparently played without us).


It was insanely crowded, but I really liked it.

So...ummmm...yea. That's really all. It's not even noon on a Monday and I'm sitting in my pajamas watching Knocked Up on E!. Great omen for a great week ahead?

Friday, January 14, 2011

melancholia at its finest

Today is just one of those days.

You know the ones I'm talking about. The frustrating, dead-end days where everything seems fuzzy and clear at the same time, where your whole future flashes before your eyes and it's blank blank blank.

I've always been a big proponent of everything happens for a reason, a believer in fate and God's perfect timing and everything in between. But in the year since graduating, I've found it harder and harder to have faith that things work out the way they're supposed to. God's going to take care of me, right? That's what everyone says.

To be frank, I don't feel very taken care of and, yes, I'm aware of how ungrateful and selfish that sounds.

I'm sorry, y'all. I really am. I know I have so much and the majority of the world has so little. Not being employed is really nothing in comparison to contaminated water sources and going hungry for days, etc. And I know this is just me getting caught up in my own silly little world, but I'm indulging myself this afternoon. Sometimes you just have to give yourself permission to rest with your head in your hands. And wallow. And just be sad. So that's what I'm doing today. Womp womppp.

But, all the same, here's to Fridays, being home alone, sleeping puppy dogs, and tragically terrible sorority sister thrillers. :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

can't stop, won't stop: january

Presenting the first can't stop/won't stop of 2011, y'all: songs I can't and won't stop listening to on repeat as of late. Holla!


there i was again tonight
forcing laughter, faking smiles
same ol' tired lonely place

walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and
vacancy vanished when i saw your face
all i can say is it was enchanting to meet you

I remember the first time I ever saw Mitch. It was at a party in Nacogdoches; I was visiting an old friend for the weekend, sitting around someone's coffee table when he walked in. He was wearing a long-sleeved, oatmeal-colored shirt and faded jeans that were ripped up at the knees. I remember staring at him and his mesmerizing smile before immediately texting my friend across the room, Who is that guy? What can I say? I just had to know.

December 2008, the first night we met. YIKES.

And yes, it was a bit scandalous on my part since my boyfriend at the time was also at this party. Don't worry - nothing happened that night (or any night for that matter while I was still with said boyfriend, I swear), but that didn't stop me from being curious about the sweet boy at Jordan's party, the boy who made me laugh and asked me to play beer pong with him (against my aforementioned boyfriend...oops?).

your eyes whispered, have we met?
across the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me
the playful conversation starts,
counter all your quick remarks
like passing notes in secrecy
and it was enchanting to meet you
all i can say is i was enchanted to meet you

I realize the beginning sounds a bit sketch, and maybe it is, but every time Mitch walks into the room, I'm enchanted just as I was two years ago when he walked through that apartment door and unsuspectingly into my life. I love that we had no idea what would become of us when he innocently asked for my number. I love that there were too many times I blew him off, pushed him out of my mind as some silly boy with some silly crush on me, and all the while this was the future God had in store.

I love our story, totally & absolutely.

this night is [flawless]
don't you let it go
i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
i'll spend forever wondering if you knew i was enchanted to meet you


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

the obedience school hierarchy

A few weeks ago I introduced y’all to the latest addition to the family, Pete, and mentioned we’d be starting training classes this January. Well, it’s January and Pete likes to eat my favorite pair of earrings, so as of last night, classes have commenced. Thank God.

Now, I don’t mean to be a snob, but as soon as we walked in the door it was glaringly apparent that we were the best ones. Our classmates include a girl (woman?) about my age and her adorably huge and furry puppy named Charlie; an older woman and her elderly mother with their fuzzy Pomeranian, Coco; a lady recently moved to Dallas from Boston and aqua colored parka-wearing Chihuahua, Duke; and a woman with her two young daughters and two annoying miniature Huskies, Rocky and Mia.

Mia is a bitch.


Mitch and I want to start the We Hate Mia Club and pass out membership cards to everyone in our class because, seriously, fuck that dog.

Sidebar: did you know that a miniature Husky is actually an Alaskan Klee Kai? This woman was real impressed with herself for raising (the world’s most annoying) Alaskan Klee Kais but, lady, no one gives a shit.

End sidebar.

The point is that this dog, Mia, did not stop yapping/SCREAMING for nearly sixty minutes straight. At one point, my ears started ringing and it was hard to understand our Matthew-Broderick-lookalike-trainer.

I work the nightshift at Petsmart.

I would have felt sorry for Mia’s owner had she not been so aloof about the whole thing, but my god, she just sat there and DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT IT. Didn’t even try. Just said, Mia’s a fussy one, hehehe, like that was supposed to make us all go, OHHHHHH, she’s just FUSSY! I don’t mind the incessant yipping now!


There’s just a clear hierarchy in our group, even after the first class. I mean, let’s be serious, Pete is number one, a fact Mitch and I found shocking since he frequently pees on my comforter, knocks over my glass of orange juice, and swipes pie off my plate all before 11am on a Sunday. I guess this means he’s smart but a dick. Cool. Anyway, being the super-nerds that we are, Mitch and I (seriously, just HAPPENED) to sit in the front of the classroom, so Pete was used in most of the demonstrations (well, whenever Matthew Broderick wasn’t trying to choke out Mia, that is). I’m almost embarrassed by how nervous and excited Mitch and I would get every time Pete was acting as the example. Our faces would turn red, we would grasp hands and, okay, possibly even SQUEAL.

Judge us.

I had to keep reminding us both that Pete is a DOG. A DOG.

Needless to say, when Pete repeatedly aced every drill, we clapped and cheered annoyingly loud while all the other dogs and their owners watched us with varying degrees of envy and hatred, except for the old ladies and Coco. We might actually be making friends with them because Pete and Coco seem to want to date. Or get it on. It’s hard to tell.

So, the obedience school hierarchy, when broken down, looks a little something like this (and, YES, I immediately typed this into a note on my iPhone last night as soon as class was over):

Duke (Sorry your mom seems like a total airhead AND dresses you like a girl)
Rocky (I’m not as annoying as Mia, but close!)

MIA (.............)

We’re obviously really excited for the next five weeks. Oh, and I won’t even go into how superior I felt to all the other owners since I’m awesome and brought my own clicker AND knew all about Pavlov’s dogs & classical conditioning (pysch minor shoutout!).

My mom was all, it’s not a competition, it’s just obedience class. And she’s right: it’s not a competition because have you SEEN what we’re up against? Team Townsend-Baker for the win!

Monday, January 10, 2011

nutella rice krispy treats

On Saturday Mitch and I were looking for something fun (but mostly, easy) to do because sometimes we're boring and sometimes we like to be lazy on the weekends (and by we, I mean "I").

While catching up on some blog reading, I came across this recipe for Nutella Rice Krispy treats over at I Love You This Much by Sarah. I was like, ummmm, awesome, we must make these. And so we did. And ohhhhhh mannnnnnn.

You can see Sarah's original post here, but here's the recipe:

I promise we (mostly) resisted the urge to eat this straight out of the jar.

5 cups rice krispies cereal
1 jar marshmallow fluff
4 tbsp butter
1/2 cup nutella
1/2 cup peanut butter
6 oz chocolate chips

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium low heat. Add the marshmallow fluff and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring to combine. Pour the marshmallow mixture into a large bowl with the rice krispies, and mix well. Press the mixture into a greased 9*13 baking dish, and let cool at room temperature.

In a double broiler, or heatproof bowl placed over a pot of simmering water, mix peanut butter, nutella and chocolate chips together, until the chocolate melts and the mixture is smooth. Remove from heat and let cool for about one minute, stirring so that the mixture doesn't harden.

Spread on top of rice krispies, and chill in the refrigerator for about one hour.

Holy crap, this was the easiest thing I've ever made in my life and I totally felt like a badass using a double broiler. Me! DOUBLE BROILING SOMETHING! And, okay, sure, I probably shouldn't be too proud of myself for simply melting chocolate and peanut butter in a pan... But, whatever, I totally am.

Pre-sitting in the fridge for an hour. I was excited, it's fine.

Finished product. Yummmm.

Oh, and Mitch helped.

Success. Also, have you ever seen another boy look this good in a backwards cap? Bet you haven't.

Make these now and eat them all in one sitting, y'all. No shame.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

for anna

I've mentioned my intense love of Relient K before, as well as the fact that the acoustic version of Be My Escape is my favorite song of all time. Seriously. I never ever skip over it on my iPod, so I mean, that says a lot.

Anyway, I just wanted to share it with all of y'all, as well as my friend Anna (who I know loves me and faithfully stalks this blog, haha).

Oh, and sorry the video is clips from Grey's Anatomy set to music? I don't know. Whatev.

I've been housing all this doubt & insecurity and I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key.

Enjoy. :)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

a stylish award

Joelle over at Love is Home gave me this little Stylish Blogger Award which, can I tell you, just absolutely made my day. Thanks, Joelle! :)

There are four duties to perform to accept this award:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!

So, seven things about myself...
1. I've been to Africa and dined on zebra (sorry to all those vegetarians out there)
2. I have an inexplicable fascination (read: obsession?) with Mandy Moore movies
3. Originally I attended Stephen F. Austin State University before transferring to Texas A&M as a sophomore and sometimes I'm sad I missed out on freshman year in my beloved Aggieland
4. Working out in gyms makes me feel uncoordinated and, as a result, idiotic.
5. I squeeze lemon juice onto my cheesecake and was recently told that was weird...? Okay, whatever, my parents RAISED ME TO EAT IT THAT WAY AND IT TASTES GOOD, so shut up Mitch. That just means more cheesecake for me.
6. And on that note, cheesecake is probably my favorite food. Not dessert. FOOD.
7. My second favorite food is Sloppy Joes (and, yea, I eat them like I'm twelve-years old).

Thursday, January 6, 2011


As of this morning, I am having a love affair with this hair dryer attachment:

I'm really good at MS Paint.

Seriously, I never knew what this was for, just that it seemed to come with every hair dryer I've ever purchased. Normally I threw them away because I mean, I didn't need it. OR SO I THOUGHT. When I got my hair cut at that fabulous hair studio in Uptown, my stylist Chantel used this when doing my hair and I was all, Huh, people actually use that? So this morning I thought I'd give it a go and OH MAN BEST HAIR DAY EVER. Now, I'm not saying this is totally due to the magic of the plastic concentator nozzle piece...but it could be.

Also I'm choosing to take this as a good omen for the day.

And even if it's not a good omen, I'm still having a rockin' hair day, so really, I still win.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

hey, so when we have our own place...

This is how I begin ninety-nine percent of the things I say to Mitch as of late. Sooo, when we have our own place, can we get Netflix? When we have our own place, can we throw parties just because? Heyyy, when we have our own place, can I be in charge of decorating?

If he's not sick of it...he's a saint.

But what can I say? I'm a planner. I'm a woman. AND I'M ME. I love to nest even when I have no nest to nest. Such is the burden I bear. Sighhhh.

Anyway, all that to say that I'm obsessed with these birch tree wall decals and we will have them (heyyy... sooo...) when we have our own place.

I want you.

Monday, January 3, 2011

things i need to get better at in 2011

It’s a new year which means there’s no excuse to not at least make an attempt to revamp myself, right?

No, but seriously, I’ve never really been one to make resolutions (probably because I know I don’t stick with anything longer than a couple weeks…hey, at least I’m honest). Of course this is the year I want to be a runner, fifteen pounds thinner and overall a healthier version of myself. However, I have a borderline codependent relationship with Mexican food (it needs me, too), so the chances of a thinner/healthier me? Slim to none.

Acceptance, y’all.

And as far as running goes, I unfortunately associate running with punishment and, therefore, loathe it with every particle of my being. Thanks, junior high (TOWNSEND, TAKE A LAP.).

Nevertheless, in the spirit of embracing new beginnings, I came up with a list of things I need to get better at this year. Presenting:

Things I Need to Get Better at in 2011

1. Hiding my tattoo from my grandmother

Okay, this one is actually null and void now that my mother’s let the cat out of the bag. One of my parents’ conditions to not disowning me for getting a tattoo was to never, under any circumstances, let my grandmother see it. She’s old-fashioned, which is really just a nice way of saying incredibly uptight and judgmental. Sorry, Grandma. Anyway, I have gone to great lengths to always be wearing long sleeves or a bracelet that I have taken the time to TAPE INTO PLACE ON MY WRIST so as to not upset the delicate balance that is my family life, all to have this ruined on Christmas, when my mother loudly announced SHOW HER, ANDREA. SHOW YOUR GRANDMOTHER WHAT YOU’VE DONE. The she laughed at me. She may or may not have also called me white trash (and may or may not have been kidding). Well, you know what, Mom? Jokes on you ‘cause Grandma didn’t even care. SO SUCK ON THAT.

2. Managing my money

This’ll be short and sweet, lest I begin weeping at the thought of my financial state. I’m horrible with money (admittedly, it’s probably by choice…) and therefore end up spending money on things like beer and Whataburger at 2am as opposed to, oh, you know, gas and dog food. There comes a point every month where I literally find myself crying in Walmart because I’m broke and know I can’t buy that bag of Cheetos. Props to Mitch for always listening to the conversations that begin with OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS OVER OH MY GODDD. I’m a real treat.

3. Texting back

When it comes to communication, I’m the kind of person I love to hate on: I suck at answering calls, listening to voicemails and even taking the time to text someone the hell back. I KNOW. It’s awful. I really don’t even know why I do it. What makes it even worse is that nothing bothers me more than when someone doesn’t answer MY call or text. I’m all WHAT THE HELL, DUDE. Hypocrite, I am. So, to all my lovely friends, consider this my formal apology for sucking so bad AND my formal promise to rectify my wretchedness in 2011.

There you have it, y’all. I’m just going to do my damndest to be better this year at a lot of things that kind of matter.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, my only New Years resolution is to try everything on Taco Bueno’s menu. I decided that today when Mitch and I were at lunch (guess where) and he wasn’t terribly impressed. Weird.
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