a collection of facts & feelings: june

Today I’m linking up with my sweet and wonderful friend Joelle over at Where We Love is Home for Happy Hour (because it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, thank God). And all I’m going to say on that note is:

a. you should really take a gander at her blog because it’s adorable, and so is Joelle
b. this weekend (when not working) I feel like I’ll be drinking one thousand cocktails and beers and bottles of wine – whatever, just bring on the booze; it’s been a hell of a week





Anyway.

Moving on.

It’s been an interesting week, my first as a summer camp counselor at the Grapevine Rec and so far I’d say the best (read: most awkward) part is working with a guy I graduated high school with because neither of us have acknowledged it. Neat-o!

I’ve been invited to zero weddings this summer. Am I really that unpopular? Well, all right.

A couple weeks ago Mitch’s mom threw him a grad party which basically meant that I ignored most people and played Presidents & Assholes on the couch the entire time (but not alone, it’s fine) while drinking twelve-ish beers. That’s a good way to feel bloated for two days, in case y’all were wondering.

Mitch's stupid eyes ruin everything.

And on that note, I know I said Apples to Apples is the greatest game of all time (and it is), but it should also be said that Presidents & Assholes is the greatest DRINKING game of all time (and it is). Seriously, have you ever played? Do it. It reminds me of summertime, which is wonderful, but it specifically reminds me of last summer, ie. The Summer We Played Presidents & Assholes Absolutely Everywhere To The Point That We Started Carrying Decks of Cards on Us at All Times I’m Not Kidding. We played with friends. We played at family gatherings. We played at The Chicken. We played at weddings. I can only hope that Summer 2011 is as President-y & Asshole-y.

In a nutshell.

Once again, moving on.

Midnight is Paris (starring Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, and a shit-ton of other people) is fantastic and totally worth seeing in theaters. I highly recommend it.

I’ve been seeing this app for awhile and, y’all, I think it’s getting pretty serious. I’d like to take this moment to profess publically: I love you, Instagram. Will you marry me and be my favorite app forever? (update: it said yes!)

Pete has gone an entire month without eating my clothes (knock on wood). I feel like this would be cause for celebration, except he’s actually just moved on to things like stairs and electrical wires.

Sidenote: besides chewing shit up, his new favorite hobby is chasing butterflies. CHASING BUTTERFLIES. I’ll try to take a video.

Not liking iced tea makes me feel absolutely positively un-southern, not to mention un-Texan. This is only amplified in the summer months. Ugh. What is wrong with me?

Not recommended: bursting into tears when your dental hygienist innocently & cheerfully asks how you're doing. She'll get really uncomfortable. And so will you. (update: seriously, I'm fine, it was just a bad day and, surprise!, I'm not great at controlling my emotions)

Also not recommended: eating two-day old chocolate chip cookies found on the bathroom counter when you wake up at 1am and can't go back to sleep. It won't cure your insomnia, but it will make you feel like a fatass.

And I just noticed how many browser tabs I have open right now. It drives Mitch crazy when I have up more than four (why? I don't know), but whatever because I'm sitting at thirteen right now.

YOU'RE MIND JUST GOT BLOWN, MITCH BAKER.


Happy freakin' weekend, y'all! I hope everyone has some really exciting plans to blow off steam from the week. Me? I'll be working, but that doesn't mean I won't have a little time off to go see a band play in Dallas on Saturday night with my main squeeze. Other than that, it's back to the grind until Tuesday (my first day off in eleven days! whoooooop!).

can't stop, won't stop: june (featuring the music of summer 2009)

In honor of summer (SUMMER!!), I decided to break from my normal format and instead do a flashback can’t stop/won’t stop featuring my favorite playlists of summers past. I’m also just feeling nostalgic (summer always has that affect on me) and wanted to indulge myself in a walk down memory lane.


First up, I present to you my Summer of 2009 Playlist:

• Love Game by Lady Gaga
• 3OH!3’s entire album, Want (but specifically Don’t Trust Me, I’m Not Your Boyfriend, Baby, and Richman*)
• Fireflies by Owl City (and, in fact, all of Owl City's Ocean Eyes album...IT'S FINE)
• Digital by T-Pain (“I don’t even care that he lives in a voicebox!”- Mitch Baker)
• Waking Up in Vegas by Katy Perry
• Hotel Room Service by Pitbull
• Birthday Sex by Jeremih (in honor of Mitch’s 21st, ie. a mostly-hilarious night for everyone involved, but less so for me as I was busy cleaning up vomit and assuring Mitch that he “didn’t do a bad job on his birthday” while he kept screaming, WHO DID THIS TO ME?!) (and later, very sadly, “…I did this to me…”)
• Sweet Pea by Amos Lee
• I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas (ughhhh I HATE this song now)
• Fire Burning by Sean Kingston (this is shameful, but true)
• Punk Goes Pop volume 2 (specifically Breathe Carolina’s cover of See You Again and The Cab’s cover of Disturbia)
  

Post-one million shots, pre-vomit.

Summer 2009 was a big one for me. It was my last summer as a college student, the summer I got Clark Kent, the summer I ran and didn’t hate it, the summer I drove down to Nacogdoches every other weekend, the summer I drove all the way to Arkansas just to see finally Relient K live, the summer of Daisy Dukes and dollar drinks and drunk make outs BECAUSE it was my last summer as a college student. It was the first summer Mitch and I spent together, the first time we drove to Houston for Free Press Summer Fest, the first time I really like-liked someone after thinking I’d never like-like anyone ever again.

PUPPY! :)

It’s the summer I came back to life.

I’ve mentioned before that I had a particularly difficult time after a break up, way back in the spring of 2009. Truth be told, it’s probably the lowest I’ve ever been in my entire life, and God, I hope the lowest I’ll ever feel. I definitely don’t want to go back to that place. Anyone who suffers from depression can attest to how hopeless you feel, like you will literally never be able to crawl out of bed, like you’ll never be happy again. I had stopped going to work. I dropped two classes and failed one. I no longer answered my phone. I regularly slept fifteen hours at a time. I spent every second possible in the solace of my room, feeling lost and inconsolable.

When I did go out, I tried to prove to myself and everyone else that I was fine by laughing too loud, drinking too much and generally pretending I didn’t give a shit about anything, least of all my broken heart.

I was, in a word, a mess.

But with summer came sunshine and a new beginning.

July 4th, 2009. Go Rangers!

It brought my friend Mitch who emailed me daily with work-out regimes and words of encouragement. It brought Clark, the world’s sweetest puppy, who gave me something to look after and someone to come home to. Summer brought a new will to live and the realization that this sorrow wouldn’t be forever. Summer brought a time of tentative happiness as I slowly but surely crawled out of my cave and faced the real world again, this time stronger and more self-assured than before. It wasn’t instant, but it was lasting.

I was back, baby.

Thank you, summer 2009. Thank you to the friends and wonderful times that made it what it was. It’s a time I always treasure, and I’m so grateful I lived to see that.

Impromptu library workers party. We like books!

Join me next month for can’t stop, won’t stop: july where I’ll feature my summer 2010 playlist. Whoop! :)



*Richman is one of my favorite songs of all time. IT GOES SO HARD. Listen to it now, please & thanks.

for kelley

A week-ish ago, one of my very best friends, Kelley, turned 24.

DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE

I'm awful because I didn't make time (here) to recognize it, but I'm making up for it now even though I'm 99% certain she doesn't even read this blog. It's okay. It's the thought that counts.

Dancing (like sluts) to "Pour Some Sugar On Me" (obvi) at MSC Hospitality's semi-formal, 2008.

Kelley and I became friends way back during the summer after my freshman year of college. I was in the middle of transferring to Texas A&M and busy buddy-ing up to my new BFF Kristin when I met this gem of a lady. They were counselors in Fish Camp together (and so cool I could barely stand it) and, oh my, I was so intimidated. Just look at her! She's so cute! And funny (although I guess it might be hard to tell THAT from just a picture)! And she dances like a black girl!

Am I allowed to say things like that?

Y'all know what I mean.

BTHO t.u., 2009.

It actually look us a little time to become close, probably because we were both friends with Kristin and there's always going to be some rivalry in that situation. I'm so happy it didn't last long, though, because by our sophomore year I really considered her one of my best friends and have ever since. Kelley's one of the sweetest, most precious people you'll ever meet. She's a wiz in the kitchen, craftsy & handy with just about anything from making pillowcases out of cloth napkins to scrapbooking, and really just a genuinely kind person. I love her more than I can ever truly express.

In College Station for May graduations, 2010.

So today (and this post!) is for you, Kelley. I miss you, but I'm proud of you for working so hard in Austin. Your never-ending optimism (even when you're sad!) inspires me. I'm sorry this isn't appearing your birthday as it should have, but all the same, I love you and I hope today is better than the 18th, meaning I hope some kid doesn't poop his pants again. That sucked.


PS: I really wanted to embarrass you but then realized I don't, in fact, have a copy of that picture of you drunk crawling on your hands & knees through the streets of Italy. You know, the one where you can see totally down your dress? Man. That would have been neat..

stop it, you're making me blush

The absolutely precious Amanda over at The Beginning of Everything awarded me this stylish blogger award because she's either never read this blog or she's just too sweet for her own good. Either way, thanks, lady!



Apparently I'm supposed to list seven facts about myself and, even though I feel like I've done this before (?), here ya go:


1. I'm 24 and I'm trying really hard to enjoy every second of my "youth."
2. My eyes are HAZEL, thank you. Not brown. I could tell you thought otherwise.
3. If I could change one thing about myself, it would be to make myself a more active, athletic person. I wish I loved running. Instead I love pizzas.
4. I'm a gypsy vagabond substitute teacher which sometimes I love and sometimes makes me feel like a loser.
5. Mitch and I torture ourselves by drooling over houses in Uptown we know we can't have. Damn you, Google.
6. I play kickball (badly) and, yes, I think that's very cool. My team is a blast. :) Go Bad Decision Bears!
7. I'm blessed beyond measure, something I don't recognize near enough. All the same, it's true. I'm a lucky girl.


Now, blink back those tears I know I've moved you to and check out the following ladies' blogs that I would like to pass this award onto:

Carrie Jo at Life of the Liles (because she's precious)
Julie at Tri-ing to be Athletic (because she's an inspiration)
Heather at Blonde...Undercover Blonde (because she's the best tweeter I know)
Vanessa at {the best is yet to be} (because she's beautifully honest)
Alex at Mutual Weirdness (because she's my pal, plain & simple)

Thanks again, Amanda! What a cute way to start my Friday. And seriously, check out the above blogs! They're all written by pretty wonderful women I feel privileged to call friends (even if it it's only through the blogosphere). :)

Happy Friday and HAPPY WEEKEND, y'all!

so you need to wait out a tornado warning...

Hello, friends! If you:

• have stupidly gone out to a bar on Tuesday night even though your kickball game is canceled and there's the threat of bad weather
• find yourself not only twenty miles from home, but also in the heart of a major city that's in the middle of a storm path

Or if you just like to laugh in the face of danger, ignore sirens and be an idiot, here are some things you need in order to expertly brave your way through a tornado warning.*

1. a 5th floor apartment with a sliding glass door and lots of windows
...because it's perfect for making you feel as unsafe as possible. Bonus: when it thunders, the doors and windows shake! Awesome!

It's just like a bomb shelter, only safer.

2. no TV or internet
...because when weathering a terrifying storm, it's ideal not to have access to any kind of news source. Bonus: if you try to listen to the radio via your iPhone or Android, you'll probably have to sit through six minutes of commercials before it'll tell you that a tornado's heading straight for your part of town. Goody!

Fuck it. We don't need this shit.

3. jugs of sangria
...because you're bored and there's nothing fancier than drinking booze you've found stored in someone's bathroom. Tip: best when consumed from the actual jug (there's no need to class it up).

Relax. It's just a tornado.

4. Apples to Apples
...because it's the greatest game ever invented. Seriously. That's not an exaggeration, and to all the people out there who think it's stupid, YOU'RE STUPID. And wrong. Tip: winning cards include Helen Keller, Anne Frank, Brad Suggs and, you would think, the JFK assassination. Warning: There are some people who think that running a goddamned marathon is more horrifying than the JFK assassination. These people are terrorists.



5. Homies
...because no one likes to brave this shit alone. Warning: some homies may not be able to handle the dramatic combination of severe weather, sangria & card games and may become belligerent, arguing that Jack the Ripper is more graceful than (my well-played choice of) Eleanor Roosevelt because he "had to be limber to murder all those people," all while sloshing fruity wine on you.

pictured: people with a plan but who will still forget their keys & cell phones in a crisis; not pictured: Mitchell and the beer he carried everywhere he went


There you have it, y'all. If nothing else, this'll entertain you for the several hours you're trapped away from your homes and give you a few stories to tell later as your friends sober up and can't remember all the Eleanor Roosevelt/lesbian comments they made.

PS: Seriously, though, everything's fine here. All have been accounted for and no serious damage was suffered. Thanks for the tweets and prayers. :)



*You should NOT do these things if you sense any extreme danger in your future. Just go sit in a stairwell or something.

one through honorable mention

Welp, my sweet friend Heather over at Blonde Undercover Blonde tagged me in her 10 Favorite Things post, which was just so thoughtful of her. :) And so here ten of my favorite things:


1. The World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA) and my incredibly fun kickball team, the Bad Decision Bears.
This gets a huge shout-out since we finally had our first game last night and, okay, we lost, but it was a blast! I'm so excited for the season to really get underway and to spend even more time with my new friends & teammates. Also, flip cup and karaoke follow games (which are every Tuesday night)... Yes, please!

Hangover Wednesdays on the other hand? No, thank you. Ugh.

Christina, Kelsey and I show off our little teeny bear ears with pride.

2. New planners
I have a not-so-secret love for all things organizational, especially planners. I buy a new one every eight months or so simply because I get excited and CANNOT HELP MYSELF OH MY GOD LOOK HOW CLEAN AND NEAT THE PAGES ARE!!!!!! See what I mean? I bought myself a new one this past Sunday and relish in slowly writing in my plans. It makes me feel so orderly and in control.

Wow, that wasn't uncomfortable at all.

Please keep reading my blog.


3. Naps
If I could nap every single day (guilt-free), I absolutely would. Why? Because my bed is one of my favorite places in the world. It's soft, cozy and full of pillows just the way I like it. Laying in bed, drifting off to sleep in the afternoontime is relaxation at its finest.


4. Live music
The past two summers Mitch and I had made it a point to go to a lot of live shows and we were loving it. However, somehow in 2011 that has falled to the wayside and, well, we are not fans of that. We finally went to our first concert in nine months a few weeks ago, on a Wednesday night in Deep Ellum. We saw Freelance Whales play in such a sweet, intimate setting and we were in heaven, pure & simple.

I'm not going to shut up about Freelance Whales until everyone loves them as much as I do.

Sidenote: Driving out on a Wednesday night to see a band we both love made us more anxious than ever to get jobs and move out to Dallas for real. As we walked down Lamar to our parked cars, we daydreamed about what it would be like one day when we live just down the street and, for that matter, can drive home together without having to say goodbye. Ever. And then Mitch peed on a tree next to my car.

End sidenote.


5. Taco Bueno party burritos.
The flame has been reignited, y'all, and I am once again helpless to my addiction.


6. Rainy days
Mostly I love rainstorms and cloudy days because they give me an excuse to do nothing. Plus, they go great with Favorite Thing #3.

Double plus that when it rains in Grapevine, my backyard looks like this.


7. Mitchell Stanley
Besides being my boyfriend and, thus, an automatic favorite, Mitchell Stanley is pretty much the bee's knees. He's funny, adorable, and kind enough to jog four feet in front of me for over half of Warrior Dash because I refused to run anymore and was totally being a puss about everything, but when I pouted and yelled JUST LEAVE ME OKAY I'M HOLDING YOU BACK GOSH WHATEVER, he just kept slowly trotting along and told me, "Nope, no man left behind." Thanks, dude. :)

Nothing says love and respect like a backdrop of day-glo orange port-o-potties. Romantic.

8. My homies. 'Nough said.


9. This blog.
More specifically, having the freedom and platform to say what I want to say is one of my favorite things, without a doubt. And while at times it may feel overwhelming, I'm so lucky to have a place that's mine and people who give enough shits to read my words. Wow. How amazing is that?


10. Clark & Pete
You knew these were coming. I would be a terrible owner if they didn't make it onto every single Favorite Things list I ever make. And while Pete has moved on from my underwear to the crotches of my Nike running shorts, I try to love him. It goes without saying that Clark is as perfect as always. :)

Whatta bastard.

Honorable Mention: summer, mix CDs, nostalgia, disposable cameras, my mom's chicken & rice casserole, and 4 Lokos.
Seriously, one time Mitch and I ate an entire double batch of my mom's chicken & rice casserole and we were sick for two days. Gluttony, anyone?

Also, yes, 4 Lokos.

And I am of course referencing the original recipe.

Thanks so much, Heather, for thinking of me when you posted! It was fun to do the same. And in keeping with the pattern, I would like to tag the following to share with us ten of their favorite things:


Joelle of Where We Love Is Home (because she is my most honest friend)

Jennie of Well, Shut The Front Door! (because she is my funniest friend)

Hannah of heart to heart (because she is my sweetest friend)

Hugs, kisses and rainbows to everyone. And hey, it's almost Thursday which means it's almost Friday which means it's almost SATURDAY MORNING AT 9:30AM WHICH MEANS IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR MITCH TO GRADUATE.

Hell.

Yes.

No apologies for the all-caps. :)

hummingbirds

What's that?

Oh, THIS? It's just my new blog design. No big deal.

Lies. It's a very big deal. To me, at least. And I have to say, I'm a bit in love, if it's even possible to be in love with things like hummingbird backgrounds and Google directory fonts. Trevor is a magician, no? When we had our friend-date/hey-I-need-blog-design-help date on Friday night, the only specifics I brought to him were that I wanted my page to look clean and user-friendly. Vague. I know. But we spent a few hours trolling the internets together and trying out this and then testing out that until we (ahem, he) created the beautiful masterpiece you see before you.

And like I said, I'm quite smitten.

In case you're wondering about the hummingbirds, we chose them because while trying to think of a picture or pattern or what-have-you that best "represented" me, I confided to Trev that if I could be any animal, I would be a hummingbird. Why? Because they're flighty (in a good way, right?) and energetic and cheerful. Well, I've always thought of them as cheerful, anyway, and the point is that hummingbirds are darling and funny and they make me strangely happy.

And there you have it.

Hummingbirds.

Or, me in bird form. Same diff.

I hope y'all like it as much as I do! You'll also notice I added several new pages to the top, so feel free to peruse those at your leisure. They're terribly and not at all important. Although one does feature a picture of Mitch wearing a rain poncho and that always makes me laugh.

Later I'm hoping to write up a recap of a little thing called Warrior Dash in which I participated today, but until then I'll leave you with this picture:

I know you're distracted by the fact that I appear to not be wearing pants, but seriously, check out this dude's helmet.

Hope everyone had a happy weekend! Let's BTHO this week. A-whoop!

willhoite's (where, for a good time, call jessica)

Two Fridays ago Kelsey called and invited Mitch and I to go scout a band with her & Harrison that they were thinking of booking for their wedding. As it turned out, the band was playing in Grapevine (holla!) that night at a restaurant slash biker bar called Willhoite’s.

I love Willhoite's.

Why?

For a million reasons, but mostly because they have a kickass lunch buffet that my friend Sarah and I like to hit up on a regular basis, but also because it’s a great place to people-watch. And by people-watch, I mean stare at hot-mess townies. Unfortunately the buffett and hot-mess townies don’t overlap as there aren’t too many drunks roaming Main Street on Tuesday afternoons. Go figure.

Sidenote: I was briefly friends with a guy who told me that he once went home with a woman he picked up at Willhoite’s. She turned out to be forty-four and a mother to three kids, two of which were teenagers. My friend was twenty-six. Classic.

End sidenote.

Anyway, I readily agreed to join them and while the band was fun but (at times) talentless (seriously, their cover of Purple Rain?), Willhoite’s did not disappoint.

And it’s all thanks to Jessica.

Things that make this picture awesome: the angle, as I was shooting from the balcony above, and the fact that the thing semi-obstructing the view is a set of mounted antlers.

To be honest, we really have no idea what her name was, but the four of us took turns coming up with possible monikers because we got tired of saying things like, Hey, look, the drunk girl’s back! Tagging a name to a sloppy face was much easier, not to mention much more amusing. The point is that this woman was the embodiment of DTF (and if you don’t know what that is…look it up). She was the personification of not giving a damn, the ghost of every drunken hook-up ever to take place in the history of the world.

In a word, Jessica was fun.

Jessica took to the dance floor with wild, reckless abandon, continually coming back with different men and progressively giving fewer & fewer shits as the night went on. It’s hard to say if the rest of the bar viewed her as much of a joke as we did. I’d like to think everyone else was in on it as well, and that the dudes romantically banging against her were aware that on the balcony above sat four incredibly entertained twenty-somethings watching their every move (and, sure, at times cheering them on).

Two-thumbs up to each and every townie with the balls to behave this way.

Bringing the evening to a brilliant crescendo, Jessica brought one lucky lad over to the enormous fireplace that made up one complete wall surrounding the dance floor and straddled him while, I shit you not, gyrating on beat to the band’s rendition of Play That Funky Music, White Boy. Between the humping and the forced chest-grabbing (girlfriend was not afraid to let everyone know exactly what she wanted), Jessica was a sight to behold.

Bless her heart.

I watched this for over an hour. That's not creepy.

I was more than happy urging Mitch to ask her for a dance –- it was the night before our anniversary, and really, what could be a better gift?

Sadly, he declined, possibly out of fear of molestation.

Prude.

Proof that Willhoite's brings out the absolute best in everyone. And, Kelsey, you requested that I take this picture. I think it came out excellently.

Eventually, Harrison, Kelsey and Mitch were forced to drag me away from the train wreck with which I’d become obsessed. And sure, a little part of me feels sorry for Jessica – who knows what’s actually going on in her life? Maybe she just lost her job or is in the middle of a nasty divorce with her husband over an illicit affair involving one or more of the bartenders? It’s hard to say, but maybe she needed the magic that only Willhoite’s and embarrassing amounts of sloppy public make-outs can bring to shine a little light back into her life.

If that’s the case then I say, you play that funky music, Jessica. You play that funky music right.

And party on.

for kristin

Happy birthday to this girl:

Oh, Kristin, you are so welcome.

Universe, I'm not sure that y'all have been properly introduced on this here blog, but this is one of my very best friends, Kristin. Kristin, the Universe. We've been best friends for, what?, five years now? Something like that? We met our freshmen year at A&M, fell in love, and, well, you know how the story goes: lived happily every after. No, but seriously.

Football season 2006 and my all-time favorite picture of us. :)

It's much harder now to maintain our BFFdom, seeing as she's in Austin and I'm up here in Dallas, but through phone and gchat (what a godsend), we make it work. After so many years invested, I think it'll take more than simply living four hours apart to come between us.

Halloween 2007. Here I can be seen chopping Kristin in the stomach with a plastic ax because why wouldn't I?

When talking to other people, I like to describe Kristin as my hot friend with the big boobs. And it's true. Maybe you can't tell from the pictures, but I swear, she's got 'em. Plus she's got the whole blonde-hair-blue-eyed thing going on. Guys are basically at her mercy, something she's almost always oblivious to. Hilarious. And this once again reinforces my point that I truly have the bangingest of friends.

Texas A&M v. Baylor, 2008. Gig'em!

Along with all my other Briarwood lovers, Kristin is an Aggie, enjoys the occasional drink and, unlike all of my other Briarwood lovers, has a thing for athletes. And VIPs. And 30-year old men. Have I said too much?

BTHO t.u., 2009. Damn, we've gone to a lot of football games together from the looks of these pictures.

So, today (and this post!) is for you, Kristin. Twenty-four is going to be your year, I can just feel it. I love you with my whole heart, maneater-status or not, and am so grateful to have had a friend like you for the past five years. Here's to five million more!


PS: For a special treat, see a picture of Kristin on her twenty-first birthday here. It's the first picture. You can't miss it.

PPS: Kristin, I hope you still love me. Happy birthday?

the ghost of spring breaks past(alternative title: why i'll never be hired by anyone, ever)

Today I made a special trip over to my storage room (where all my belongings sadly remain since I’m totally super cool and live in my parents’ guestroom) to dig through a million boxes of crap, looking for koozies.

Yup, koozies.

And do you want to know why? Because it’s almost spring break, mfers!

Now, okay, maybe I’m a little too old for spring break, seeing as how I spent last year’s staring at this (while Mitch was off skiing in Breckenridge…yea, poured some salt into THAT wound, didn’t you, lover?):

NO.

That’s right. This time last year I was working in a soul-sucking job as an accounts receivable coordinator, something I’ve mentioned probably too many times, but whatever. Anyway, it was tough working for the man while all my college friends were off having the time of their lives since it wasn’t that long ago that I, too, was having the time of my life, PCB-style.

In March of 2008 and 2009, I road tripped down to Florida with fifteen friends and spent the week renting a house in Panama City Beach. A house with two tiny bathrooms. Shared by a bazillion people. It was, in a word, classic. You know all those spring break trips you see depicted in college movies? Yeaaaa.

When we went my junior year, in 2008, I had just turned 21 in the weeks prior so, needless to say, I was pretty excited to just be able to drink legally. Add on a trip to the beach with my friends and I was absolutely in heaven.

SBPCB08 jams: Sexy Can I by Ray J
I Run This by Birdman feat. Lil’ Wayne







It was a little on the wild side, I’ll admit, but truth be told, I don’t think it can even compare to the ridiculousness of SBPCB09.

Seriously.

There was booze, theft, regretful yet hilarious ice outs, dancing, and a variety of competitions, rewards and penalties. There were underground beer bongs, on-a-canoe beer bongs, duct-taped-and-hog-tied beer bongs, Lindsey’s-underwear beer bongs, running beer bongs, peeing-in-the-ocean beer bongs, and god, so many more. I spent most of my time drunk dialing my fellow Fish Camp counselors (note: more on Fish Camp at a later date) and leaving them messages like, CLINT, IF YOU DON’T ANSWER THIS PHONE RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL CHOKE YOU, etc.

SBPCB09 jams: Kiss Me Thru the Phone by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em
I'm on a Boat by The Lonely Island

pictured: bliss

pictured: utilizing a rape whistle while in a crowded outdoor bar

pictured: BFFL high-pour

pictured: dudes' top-ass picture. an absolute must.

pictured: dudettes' top-ass picture. not embarrassing.

To put it this way, last year I jokingly applied to be a castmate on Jersey Shore season 3 (duh, why wouldn’t everyone?) and when asked to describe my perfect summer weekend, I described instead a single day at Panama City Beach in 2009. Oh, and submitted a picture of myself doing a beer bong while wearing a bikini. And definitely got a call-back ("Girrrrrrl, can’t wait for your audition tape! LOVE your booty!"). So, crazy enough to interest the producers over at the Jerz? HEY-OH!

Maybe I shouldn’t post things like this since I’m in the process of trying to become gainfully employed?

Whatev.

Slash Mama, Dad, extended family…I apologize if you read all of this. I really am the nice, semi-normal girl you thought you knew.

I will say, however, that I have grown up a lot since 2008 and 2009. I don’t ice out with strangers or binge drink (on week nights, at least). And this year I have the exciting privilege of spending a weekend out at Harrison’s lakehouse with some very fun, adult-type friends, instead of spending the entirety of Spring Break 2011 working like a sucker. But the number one item at the top of my packing list (yes, I make packing lists, shut up)?

Koozies.

happy hour

My blog friend, Joelle, over at Where We Love Is Home has this really fun blog party on Fridays called Happy Hour. You're already interested, right? Just because it's called Happy Hour and that makes you think of booze, right? I KNOW.





Anyway, every Friday over at Where We Love Is Home you can link up, talk about what you're drinking (or what you'd like to be drinking) today, and also find some other neat-o bloggers. It's simple to participate, so I definitely recommend that you click on over and join. While you're there, go ahead and wish her a happy belated birthday, why don't ya?


So. Some highlights from my week?

• My little blog here turned one on Tuesday!

• I forgot to take out my eyebrow ring* at a sub job one morning this week and the bitchy assistant principal came down to my classroom and called me out while giving me the stank eye. Womp womppp.

• Mitch bought me this adorable painting (by Lindsey over at Paint Me a Picture) for Valentine's Day and yesterday I ordered him a matching one (in different colors, of course). Our plan is to hang each below our framed diplomas since the hearts are painted near where our college towns are located. :) Cheesy? Whatev.

• Pete continues to be a pervy-pervert.

• Obedience school ended and I finally posted a picture of Matthew Broderick trainer.

• Last night I went to the movies with my friend Kelsey and we saw Just Go With It. Y'all. This was so cute. We both really loved it, and it has such a badass soundtrack. I'm currently in the process of trying to track it down (you know how I do).

• I'm way obsessed with this picture of the four of us (even what with Clark Kent looking like a roaring dinosaur and all).

Is it 4 o'clock yet? Bring on the after-school margs, y'all. And don't forget to stop by Joelle's blog! :)

*Eyebrow rings are awesome and I don't care what anyone else says. SUCK IT, HATERS.

i'm alive, i swear: post-birthday edition

Let me just start off by saying that between substitute teaching, living in Forney during the week and my birthday festivities, I have spent only two nights in my own bed over the course of the past three weeks. Say what??

Things have been crazy, y'all, but crazy-good.

I had so enjoyed getting into the practice of writing nearly every day and, let's face it, as a writer, that's beyond important, but with everything that's been going on, I've found literally no time to even check anyone else's blogs let alone post on my own. I don't care if it's weird, but that's been tough. Anyway...

This will just be a mishmash post since a lot has happened during my brief hiatus. Let's get on with it:


Substitute Teaching...
...is a total dream. I love it. The more I sub the more I'm convinced I'm supposed to be a teacher...but the less I'm convinced I'm supposed to work for a district. What I mean is I've started worrying over the past three weeks that maybe I'm too out there to be a regular ol' teacher. I definitely don't like being put into a box, wading through red tape, etc. I just want to be able to do what I want when I want and blahblahblah I'm apparently a rebellious sixteen-year old all over again and YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY GOSH. Being a substitute teacher is so freeing because I don't have to be regular; I can let the kids sit on the floor while they work. I can hug them when the day is over (okay, I'm technically not allowed to do that, but when a sweet kid runs at me full-force and throws their arms around me, I'm not going to push them away, duh). I can say "suck it" in casual conversation. I can have a tattoo. Okay, so, again, technically maybe I'm not allowed to do any of those things either, but I do and the kids love me. And the other teachers love me. And I'm doing a great job. No, Mom, that's not me being full of myself; that's recognizing when I'm good at something, which is rare, so let me have my moment. Jeeeeeez.

I could honestly go on and on and on about all this (seriously, ask any of my annoyed friends), but I'll save it for another day. Besides, I can already feel myself getting all worked up and it's too early in the morning for a stress rash.


Obedience School...
...is over! And, yes, Pete graduated! So what if it was a pity, you-paid-the-money-so-I-guess-we'll-pass-him kind of graduation, it still counts. And he even wore one of those totally lame and adorable mortar boards. Duh, I took a bazillion pictures. Way to go, Pete! You can roll over, but you still swipe food off the kitchen counters and rip my mom's plants out of the ground.

We just really wanted to make this whole get-a-picture-while-Pete's-wearing-a-graduation-cap thing work.

Awkward.

What an adorable family pic, complete with what appears to be Clark Kent having a goddamn seizure. Way to ruin it, CLARK.

MATTHEW BRODERICK TRAINER! Thanks, Scott, for indulging our creepiness and taking a picture with us.

Oh yea, and a picture of the infamous Mia. Bitch.


My Birthday...
...was last Wednesday, the 16th, and I am officially (not) old. What up, 24! Show me what you've got! No, but seriously, so far being twenty-four is all right. The weekend before, a bunch of my friends got together for an impromptu house party which made us all feel like we were in college again, followed by (even more?) drinks and karaoke. I'd never realized I actually knew all the words to If You Wanna Be My Lover until we sang it because, let's face it, the Spicegirls are total crowd-pleasers. Then later I fell off a curb by a valet stand and into a muddy ditch. Mature. This past weekend, however, I trekked down to visit my best friends in Austin for a little post-birthday celebration. That's what happens when your actual birth day falls on a shitty Wednesday -- you get two birthday weekends. Anyway, it was pretty chill, but we did venture out to West 6th Street on Saturday night where I only spent eight dollars because some thirty-two year old Persian dudes came out of nowhere and bought us shots. One of them's birthday was the day after mine and he only hit on me a little, so I felt like it was okay to hang with them. No worries, Mitch has been informed and dare I say he's proud of me? Later while stopped at a red light we screamed out the car windows at an awkward couple until they made out. I repeat: mature.

And since I am still camera-less (read: DEPRESSED), I have no pictures from this past weekend. Instead please enjoy this throwback picture of my BFFs and I from our graduation night, December 2009:

We only deceptively have our shit together.

So, in a nutshell, that's what's been going down in Texas, y'all.

Howdy. I'm Andrea. I'm a twenty-four year old substitute teacher in Dallas, girlfriend to a man who should never under any circumstances be left alone with hair clippers as he will forget to leave himself sideburns, friend to bangin' yet equally immature twenty-somethings, and mother to two of the world's most thieving, conniving dogs.

And this is my universe.

for kelsey

Y'all, today is Kelsey's not-21st birthday. Holla.

Kelsey, me and Harrison after an Ol' Ags crush party, spring 2009 and proof that I've third-wheeled with them for what feels like forever
(note: It's true -- I even third-wheeled it into their surprise engagement party this past December. EMBARRASSING.)
I've mentioned her several times via this blog as she is one of my very closest friends. You may recall her as the girl I spend my Jerzdays with. We met through her now fiancé, Harrison, back when they first started dating in the fall of 2008. I was dating one of Harrison's good friends at the time and, as a result, we all spent quite a bit of time together. Even after Harrison's friend and I split, the friendships between myself and the friends I had met through that relationship continued on, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Santa's Wonderland, Christmas 2008
We've known each other for years now, but the past year in particular has brought us closer together than we ever were in college. Being that we both live in Dallas, Kelsey and I (and Harrison, too -- we just can't seem to get ride of that guy) began spending more time together, whether it be couples' game night, going away for a weekend at Lake Granbury, sitting with me while I got my tattoo, scouting an 80s cover band, or simply spending every Thursday together watching the Jerz.

Jersey Shore party, September 2010
(Note: Kelsey made those awesome glasses I'm rocking)
In December, Kelsey and Harrison got engaged, by the way, and I'm entirely too interested in their wedding planning, maybe even more so than Harry. C'mon, August 11, 2012!

And Kelsey, seriously...if you can convince Harrison to let you have an adult flower girl...you know I'm all over that shit. Just sayin'.

Finally.
You know, moving back home after graduation last December was something I really dreaded, especially since all of my friends had moved to Austin. However, Kelsey living nearby and having the opportunity to deepen our friendship has been one of my greatest joys. She's smart, fun, beautiful, and damn crafts-y (seriously, she can make anything out of anything, it's ridic). I look forward to Thurdsays every week and I think she'd agree that we're both pretty blessed by the bromance going on between our boys. :)

So today (and this post!) is for you, Kelsey. I wouldn't have made it through my first year back in Dallas without you, your love and support. Happy birthday and I love you!

They are a very attractive couple.