Today was the most holy-shit-I'm-unemployed day ever.
It's been nearly a year since I graduated (oh my GOD, let's not even dwell on how far I have not come), I'm (mostly) unemployed, and today exhaling was the most stressful activity in which I engaged. I didn't realize how sad it was until I noticed it was 4:30 in the afternoon and I was drinking a beer while watching Gilmore Girls. In my pajamas. The pajamas I also wore all day yesterday. I think it goes without saying I hadn't showered.
Seriously, Universe? This is my life?
Well, all right.
Yesterday was one of those rough days, the kind of day where hopelessness and depression sneak up on you, club you over the head and drag you far, far away into a dark cave where all you can do is cry and feel sorry for yourself. But at some point last night I reached a point where I knew I had to just kind of accept my life for what it is at the moment. And it seems funny to say but I feel like there'll be a day where I miss this place I'm in, the lack of real responsibilities (comparatively), 6am alarms, and the ablily to go two whole days in sweatpants (without being fired). This is probably the most freedom I'll ever have, so...embrace it.
That's not say I aim to stay here forever.
Duh.
Although at this point it doesn't really seem to matter what my aims are, but let's not go down that road...
My point is, yea, today was pretty pathetic. And, yea, I didn't seem like much of an adult spending my afternoon crying during Extreme Makeover: Home Edition instead of working. And, yea, I have absolutely no idea when or how my life will change (ie. when the world will stop kicking me in the metaphorical nuts). But I have a place to sleep, clothes to wear, food to eat, and, whatthefuckever, I got to drink a beer at 4:30 on a Wednesday afternoon. Things can't be too terrible.
In other (somewhat-relateable) news, I think Ziegen Bock Amber is rapidly becoming my favorite beer. Sorry, Tecate. You'll always have a place in my heart.
4 comments:
I did the same thing for about 8 months. I started out waking up at a decent time every morning and looking for jobs first thing in the morning. Yeah, that ended after about 4 weeks. Then it got to sleeping until noon or later, wanting to throw things at the computer when it was another looong application to fill out and then probably drinking a beer instead :)
Kristina, thanks for empathizing. :) I was so excited when I saw that you had commented on my blog! Hope all is well with you & your adorable husband!
You'll miss it fo sho. But as we've discussed on many occasions, I know how much it sucks too :( You just have to know that there's something out there waiting! blah blah blah bullshit bullshit, I won't continue. You know what I mean :) Love you!
Andrea, all i can say is, enjoy this time. I wake up at 6 am. . EVER DAMN DAY . . well before the sun has come, and im not sure if you know this or not, but at 6 am, no matter what month it is, its 27 degrees outside. Then i get to go hang out under some awful shade of florescent lighting that manages to make everything some funky shade of yellow so everyone looks like a simpson's charachter. I continue this pursuit of pointlessness until my eyes blur or my head goes numb, then I get to go home, go to bed, and do it all over. So as i was saying, enjoy.
=)
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