mishmash: march

Things have been c-r-a-z-y, y'all. Phew. I feel like I don't even really have time to catch my breath lately, both physically and metaphorically.

Why, then, do I have time to write this today? Well, I shall tell you: currently I am rapidly getting myself ready for another rousing day as an art sub. Yesterday morning I subbed for a pre-K class until 10:45 and in the afternoon I subbed for an art class at 1 (same classes I'll be working with today). Awesome.

And because I don't have too much time left until I have to be at school surrounded by a swarm of first graders demanding to be taught how to draw a horse (seriously), I'll just share the following recent tweets from my Twitter feed. Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaaa. I'm full of gems like:

@andreaaaaa09andrea bamf townsend

Today a 3rd grader showed up to picture day wearing a three-piece suit, winked at me and whispered "call me, babe" as he was leaving. PIMP.

23 Mar via Echofon

An 8th grader was a dick to me when I asked him to take off his sunglasses, so I didn't tell him his fly was down before I took his picture.

24 Mar via Chromed Bird

Second year interviewing with the principal at Furlough Middle School. Here we go again. Better luck this time??

26 Mar via Echofon

The Unit. AND LOKOS.

26 Mar via Echofon

I love that Clark is the favorite at our vet. :) But I mean, duh. Sweetest dog in the whole world!

28 Mar via Echofon

Cranium, mandible, clavicle, scapula, ribs, vertebrae, pelvis, coccyx, femur, patella, tibia. Ulna. Humerus. Thanks, 7th grade science.

29 Mar via Echofon

Thing I Just Learned The Hard Way: how not to spit out the window of a moving vehicle.

29 Mar via Echofon

Not quite sure why we're blasting house music while the kids jog and warm up, but I just watched a third grader hump the ground. #ummmmm

30 Mar via Echofon

Pre-K has already been quite the adventure this morning, complete with a stray dog on the playground that followed me INTO THE SCHOOL.

21 hours ago via Echofon

There's a good chance my fly's been down all morning.

19 hours ago via Echofon

"I'm drawing a baby killing a devil worshipper!" - a second grader in my art class. My response? "Wow! That's...specific..."

16 hours ago via Echofon

Yes, I accidentally let a stray dog into an elementary school yesterday. I hope whoever reviews their security cameras gets a nice laugh outta six minutes of me chasing a fucking dog around the atrium while silently praying to God that no one would come out of the office and see me. Not exactly the way I'd like to be remembered here.

And yes, I apparently rocked the open fly all morning. I'm actually pretty grateful none of my preschoolers pointed it out as that would have been possibly more embarrassing. Instead, they remained oblivious and clung to me with Play-Doh and ink-coated hands, meaning that I, too, was coated in Play-Doh and ink. And while we're on that note, why in the world would you ever give four-year olds a giant ink pad? Seriously? THIS was your idea of a great activity? Because instead of let's neatly make caterpillars with our fingerprints!, the activity instantly became let's stick our entire hands in the huge pad of lime green ink and then touch everyone & everything other than the paper in front of us!

I have green ink on my face. IT WON'T WASH OFF.

Sorry, Glenhope Elementary. I let rogue animals wandar your halls while looking sloppy and irresponsible. Interested in hiring me full time?! Yea, I thought so.


PS: Feel free to join me in breathing a sigh of relief for breaks not being break-ups. A-whoooooooooop. Kisses!

PPS: Stayed tuned for more quality blog shit, including even more obxiouslly boring sub stories as well as an anniversary shout out. Also, writing "stay tuned" made me feel like an arrogant asshole. My bad.

PPPS: Thanks for all the love, support and encouragement, y'all. I really am touched and blessed by each and every one of y'all. :)

little victories

In hard times – whether emotional, physical, economical or what-have-you – I’ve found that it’s important to celebrate the little victories. Sure, I feel a bit lost. And okay, sure, sometimes I feel sad. Nonetheless, I have joys and successes out the yin-yang that, minor as they may be, deserve appreciation and recognition.

So, to cheer myself up last night, I sat down with a dry-erase board, several multi-colored markers and wrote out a quick list of things I’m grateful for, including but not limited to:

Food

Shelter

My health and abilities

Family

Friends, both near and far

Clark
The love of my life in dog-form? Check.

Pete
I felt obligated to include him on this list, but I think we all know how I actually feel about him.

My car
Well, vehicle I suppose is a more appropriate word since it's an SUV, not a car... Anyway, piece of shit that it is, it gets me from Point A to Point B, right?

Music
Seriously…where would I be without it? I physically need the likes of Relient K, Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Incubus, 3OH!3, Mat Kearney, Chris Brown, Minus the Bear, etc.? They speak to me. They move me. ‘Nough said.

Mitch
Yep. Still. Because of things like this.

Zero credit card debt
This one gets to be in bold because clicking the "pay remaining balance" button is one of the best feelings in the world. HALLELUJAH. Also, fuck you, Discover.

Reese’s peanut butter cups
I’ve moved on from the Chips Ahoy.

God
Duh.

The fact that Eye of the Tiger just came on my iPod.
Score. And FYI it's totes on my Motivational Playlist. I like to jam to the MP while getting psyched for things I'd usually be nervous about (ie. tests, interviews, basic daily interactions).

Books
My taste in literature ranges from the classics to the trashiest of teen novels. Oh, and my favorite book of all time? The Giver by Lois Lowry. I read it when I was eleven and I’ve read it at least once every since then. If you haven’t already, read it.

Having (multiple) jobs
Yes, jobs. Plural. I’m so grateful that I’m able to substitute teach and do school photography. Even though neither of these allow me to work full time or support myself (like, enough to where I can move out? Yea...womp womp...), I really enjoy what I get up for every morning and, hey, it pays the few bills I have. And as of a couple days ago, I’m officially hired as a camp counselor for the summer here in Grapevine. :)

Getting that phone call on Tuesday is really what started the wheels in my head a-turnin’. I’d been stressed about the approaching summer months – what was I going to do about money? Both subbing and photography are seasonal so when school lets out, I was going to be shit outta luck, economically-speaking, June through August. Panic. But no more! No more panicking! I feel really blessed to have gotten hired so early that I now don’t have to worry about if I’ll be able to take care of myself during the summer.

Fist pumps for the little victories, y’all. Sometimes they’re all we (ahem, I) have, but sometimes they’re all we need to get by. Right? Besides, I know I won’t have to "just get by" forever.

To quote Beck: I’m a driver. I’m a winner. Things are gonna change, I can feel it.

Holla.

or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness

I like to be real so I'll say it hasn't been a great past several days. And I have a ton of hard ones ahead of me as it stands right now. Sometimes people need breaks. Sometimes people need break-ups.

Gah, I hate adult problems.

But once upon a time, years ago, Mitch and I were tipsy and he played Ray LaMontagne's Hold You In My Arms on his iPod. We wore headphones. We slow danced. And swaying back & forth in the dark, I knew we were falling in love.

We're still in love.

But people change. People struggle. People regress. And like I said, sometimes people need breaks, need break-ups.

I hope for a brighter tomorrow, and I know that with God people can progress. People don't have to struggle. And people change, but in a great way. It may be hard to see the good through the grief, but here's to trusting God with my life, love, and happiness.

In the meantime I can be found on my couch, eating an entire bag of mini Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies.

currently

Currently I'm listening to Freelance Whales' Generator ^ First Floor and marveling at how lovely their sound is.

I highly recommend their entire album Weathervanes.


Currently I'm reading How English Works: A Linguistic Introduction by Anne Curzan & Michael P. Adams and marveling at the beauty of our language.

Nerd alert.


Currently I'm watching The Break-Up on USA and marveling at it's upsetting relevance.

Brooke (Jennifer Aniston): I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked. I've picked your shit up off the floor. I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you. I supported you, your work. If we ever had dinner or anything, I did the plans. I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.

can't stop, won't stop: march

A can't stop/won't stop March edition? Oh, by all means:

• More by Usher (looove me some Usher Raymond ever since those You Make Me Wanna days, mmmmmmmmm)
• If You Run by The Boxer Rebellion
• Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds
• Grazed Knees by Snow Patrol
• And I know I'm a bit late on this bandwagon, but Adele*'s new album, 21? To. Die. For.

Swoon.

...

when laying with you
i could stay there,
close my eyes,
feel you here forever
you & me together -- nothing is better
set fire to the rain


In unrelated news, I'm definitely enjoying this unexpected spring break. Well, kind of. So far I've literally slept all day, every day which, let's face it, is totally boring. BUT tomorrow I get to play sand volleyball in the morning with some friends then hit up Lemon Bar around 3pm for some St. Patrick's Day day-drinking with Mitch, Harrison and anyone else brave enough to get on our level. Obvi.

Meanwhile, I'll be rocking out to some ballin' tunes. Happy (early) St. Patrick's Day, y'all! Wear lots of shamrocks, avoid getting pinched, and partake in several green beers. :)



*Also loving Chasing Pavements by Adele. I had completely forgotten how great this song is! Whoadang.

true life: my bff is a trekkie

My BFF Kristin is a Trekkie. I probably should have mentioned this last week when I wrote about how awesome she is because, really, y'all need to know that even beautiful people are weird on the inside.

Thanks to gchat for making the following conversation possible.*

Also thanks to FACEinHOLE.com, obviously.

Kristin: okay so

the borg is the group that they call The Collective. And i honestly don't know how it started....i might look that up later

but anyway

there's thousands of them

and they are these weird robot thingys. but what makes them scary is that they all used to be people, but when they conquer a new group of people, they "assimilate" them. so they jab this thing into your neck and it plants this bug into you that turns you into a robot

and so there's no individuality, and no human traits left.

me: Oh my god

Kristin: (and actually, you don't have to be human to be assimilated)

so they're totally heartless, but they all think as one because The Collective shares thoughts and memories

so they can beat ANYBODY

because if they assimilate a person that knows something about weapons defense for one race, the whole Collective knows.

me: That actually makes a lot of sense

Kristin: and they would say this phrase that was something like, "Prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

it scared the shit out of me when i was little

and then you lose your name, you just become a number

so there's your number in the collective, but then there's number that you're commonly known as

and there was one Borg that the Voyager actually saved, and her name was Seven of Nine

and they got her whole family and everything, and they removed part of the robot stuff that was infecting her, so she had to relive everything she saw right before she was assimilated

that wasn't a happy episode

i'm sure there are more technical names for all this, but, thank god, i don't know them.

me: No, I think you've already proved that you know more than enough

Kristin: SHUT UP, THIS IS WHAT I LIKE.

me: This is so going on my blog

Kristin: whatever. i'm proud of who i ma.

me: I'm proud of who I ma, too

Kristin: goddammit. screw you.

*It should be noted that I in no way incited this conversation. This was all Kristin, all the time.

bueno, we have a problem

Y'all, something has gone terribly wrong.

With my taste buds.

My love affair with Taco Bueno party burritos is no secret, but I think the impossible has finally happened. I think...I think I may have finally eaten too much Bueno.

And the worst part?

I'VE RUINED IT.

Will I ever love you again?

I've out-Buenoed myself. It's so terrible. I don't even know who I am anymore. I haven't had Bueno in, like, three weeks because I haven't even wanted it. WHAT HAS HAPPENED? Has the world turned upside down? Is red now blue?

Mitch says he needs to know I'm still all about the Bueno otherwise I'm getting the ax. Yea. It's that serious, y'all. You just don't even know.

So, Bueno, speak to me.

Seduce me with your slow-cooked refried beans and unbelievably low prices. Let our passion be reignited so that my love for you may be revived, my relationship saved.

Or else.